In December, you start hearing about how people forget the true meaning of Christmas, but what about Labor Day? Does any one out there even know why we get the first Monday of September off every year? Did we win a battle of some kind? Did William Taft just hate Mondays?
Historical significance aside, in Miami, Labor Day weekend means pool parties. While it's hot enough down here year-round to rightfully pull out our bikinis or swimsuits, by September the full weight of summer is hanging over our sweaty heads, and the only reasonable thing to do is to cannonball into a body of water with an adult beverage in hand.
So, here are Miami's best Labor Day pool parties where you can do just that.
6. Rubber Duckie Pool Party. 12 p.m. Sunday, September 4, at Duffy's Sports Grill, 3969 NE 163rd St, North Miami Beach; 305-760-2124. Tickets cost $13 via wantickets.com.
Sunday from noon to 11 p.m., Red Monkey and Culture present the Rubber Ducky Pool Party. Held at Duffy's Pool in North Miami Beach, the $13 admission grants you poolside access along with unlimited house and techno music provided by Anthony Attalla and Jesse Perez. You will also have the opportunity to take selfies with their trademark giant inflatable rubber ducky.
5. Labor Day Weekend at Mondrian. 1 p.m. Sunday, September 4, at the Mondrian South Beach, 1100 West Ave., Miami Beach; 305-514-1500. Admission is a $50 food and beverage minimum.
For the swankier among you, the Mondrian will offer a view of Biscayne Bay and pool parties on both Sunday and Monday. Sunday is a Carnival-themed party complete with jugglers and stilt-walkers, and Monday's theme is an end-of-summer extravaganza. Both parties start at 1 p.m. and last until sunset. With RSVP, they waive dock fee if you want to sail over on your boat. But general admission requires a $50 food and beverage minimum, so come hungry and thirsty.
4. Adult Swim Pool Party. 12 p.m. Sunday, September 4, at 337 NW 170th St., North Miami Beach; 305-917-4548; g5ive.com. Tickets cost $15 via eventbrite.com.
This one's definitely going to be NSFW, especially if G5ive's Memorial Day Weekend footage is any indication. This will be the first time the North Beach strip club has attempted a pool party, but if you're in the mood for ratchetness, it's worth checking out. The 18-and-over pool party has a $15 cover charge which will include three DJs, two bars, food trucks, a huge pool, and, of course, no shortage of dancers.
3. Labor Day Edition of Privileged Sundays at the Delano Beach Club. 2 p.m. Sunday, September 4, at the Delano Beach Club, 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-672-2000. Admission is free.
Just about as far away from G5ive as we can get, the South Beach art deco landmark the Delano will put a Labor Day spin on its weekly Sunday pool party, Privileged Sundays. The red, white, and blue color-themed event might be more suitable for the fourth of July, but, hell, isn't every day reason enough to be a patriot? The beach-adjacent setting will have tunes provided by Nate Ryan and the appropriately named Dave Sol.
2. One Epic Summer Pool Party. 12 p.m. Monday, September 5, at Epic Hotel, 270 Biscayne Blvd. Way, Miami; 305-424-5226; epichotel.com. Tickets cost $35 to $1,284 via wantickets.com.
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Away from the beach, in Miami's bustling downtown area, the Epic Hotel is putting on a Labor Day edition of its monthly pool party. From noon to 8 p.m. on Labor Day, you can float to the trap and house soundtrack provided by the DJs Robbie Rivera and Caked Up. The pool's view of Biscayne Bay is among the best downtown has to offer. Tickets for the party start at $35 — and considerably more for a premium cabana.
1. Vagabundos Pool Party. 1 p.m. Sunday, September 4, at the Vagabond Hotel, 7301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-400-8420; thevagabondhotel.com. Admission is $12.
The vintage Vagabond Hotel is eager to get in the Labor Day spirit. Sadly, you already missed out on skipping the cover charge that the first 100 people who RSVPed on Facebook received. But for the reasonable fee of $12, you can join over 200 other pool party aficionados who committed to the Biscayne Boulevard hotel's pool that looks less South Beach and more Mad Men. DJ AJ Reddy and DJ Alex Ferbeyre will be spinning the day away.