Melvins' Buzz Osborne on Punk Roots, Nirvana, and Why He Hates Country Clubs

It's not even 10 a.m. in San Francisco when Melvins' singer and guitarist Buzz Osborne gets on the phone with New Times. He's already in peak curmudgeon form, throwing countless F-bombs at the public education system, country clubs, and a random high school teacher from four decades earlier.

"The only reason he was a teacher was to avoid the draft. If I was going to go to college to turn me into someone like you, then fuck college," Osborne says.

Instead, as a teenager, Osborne formed Melvins, which has been his only job for his entire adult life.

"I was 19 in 1982 when we started it. We did our first demos in 1983," he explains. "It didn't seem at the time like it happened right away, but I guess it did." Though Melvins played a metal-adjacent hardcore sound, punk music inspired him. "Bands like the Ramones showed me I didn't need to play like Jimi Hendrix. It gave me hope," he adds.

This was all outside Seattle. The time period and music output allowed Osborne to get to know the members of Nirvana well. He was the one who first introduced Kurt Cobain and Krist Novoselic to Dave Grohl. "I liked the guys. I knew them before they could buy houses and cars with credit cards," he says. "It ended tragically. That is not something I'll ever get over."

Osborne is quick to point out that Melvins' success as a touring rock band didn't have much to do with Nirvana's world domination. "We were making a living before Nirvana ever sold a record. And you look at it, if they sold a hundred million records, we sold less than one percent of that. We're too weird," he says. The close seat he had to Cobain's rise and death by suicide still haunts him. "I liked him before he was a rock star. It was difficult for me to see him addicted to heroin and married to one of the worst people on the planet," he adds.

Osborne has taken a steadier, more workmanlike approach to his band. "We do 80 to 120 shows a year. We're always writing and recording," he explains.

The band's latest album, Thunderball, comes out April 18. "We wanted to do something bombastic. We worked with noise artists Void Manes and Ni Maîtres. I put it among our best. You listen to this, Hostile Ambient Takeover, Bad Moon Rising, and our acoustic album Five Legged Dog. Listen to all that, and you get a real feel for what we've been doing," Osborne says.

To really get a feel for Melvins, it's best to see them live, which you'll have a chance to do when the band's coheadlining tour with Napalm Death stops at Culture Room on Friday, April 24. "Expect nothing, and you can be pleasantly surprised," Osborne says. "It's top-notch musicianship by people who are cool and classy."

Part of Osborne's self-described classiness is an addiction to golf, though he's careful to point out, "I prefer muni courses. Fuck the country clubs where they don't want me there anyway. I don't have time to play golf on tour, and when I come back to play, my handicap is shit. Golf isn't like riding a bike. The best thing is it's not a team sport. I always loved sports, but hated the people who played them. Golf is solitary, and with music being indoors, it's nice to get a break and be outside."

When asked if the game of golf inspired any of his songwriting, he gave a quick denial. "My hatred for the human race is what inspires our songs," he says.

Napalm Death and Melvins. With Weedeater and Dark Sky Burial. 7 p.m. Thursday, April 24, at Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale; 954-564-1074; cultureroom.net. Tickets cost $35 via ticketmaster.com.