Lost Sounds

With a setting Sun, a dead King, a reformed Killer, and empty Stax, Memphis has spent the past few decades coasting on the fumes of its musical reputation. After making the world suffer through countless garage bands rehashing the same old, same old, Memphis has come up with Lost Sounds: a horror/no wave monster that threatens to torch Graceland note for note. Sinister keyboards sink multiple hooks into the listener's cranium and extricate all the musical stupidity. Then you will honor and obey: All Hail Lost Sounds! Their reign will outlaw boring guitar rock and pummel musical criminals with banks of synthesizers. Robert Moog will take over the Pentagon. Thomas Dolby will serve as Minister of Culture. William Gibson will run the Ministry of Information. Spandex and boy bands will be outlawed. Tax credits will be issued for skinny ties. Sound fascist? Maybe, but at least John Ashcroft will be out of a job.

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Tom Bowker