Drug smokin', Lower East Side squattin', dumpster divin' crust-metal pop-punk crew Leftover Crack is a band that's mastered the art of branding.
For 14 years, these dudes have made themselves synonymous with unwashed, disgruntled vagabond youth culture, playing left-field ska-punk laced with death metal and infinite allusions to hardcore.
They've made shirts inspired by the Columbine murders and released an album cover depicting Dick Cheney pumping gasoline out of a flaming World Trade Center.
But when The Crizack guys slither up and down the Sunshine State this holiday season, they will have to confront a bold, head-on assault against one of their key totems: the 40 oz. bottle of beer.
We're pretty sure Florida's 32 oz. limit -- "Flor-tys," if you will (and we insist that you do) -- was put into effect by a time-traveling Rick Scott during his quest to litter Florida's history with other national embarrassments like the 2000 election, the Elian Gonzalez controversy, training the pilots who crashed into the Twin Towers, and so on, ad inifinitum.
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But who knows? Maybe the Obama-era reefer tokin' that is sweeping the nation will inspire a nationwide rewrite of antiquated narcotics and alcohol laws?
Until then, here's hoping that LOC's tour is really a front for a Merry Pranksters-like distribution road-trip with acid swapped out for malt liquor.
Leftover Crack. With Crackbox, Juicy Karkass, Askultura, Baker Acted, Devalued, and Guerilleros de Nadie. Presented by Idle Hands. Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. Doors open at 7 p.m. and cover costs $15. The first 100 guests receive a free poster. Email email@example.com. Call 305-757-1807 or visit churchillspub.com.