Everyone's talking about Kanye West's new album and how awesome it's going to be. Meanwhile, Kim K is getting so plumped up, we know that baby is about to drop.
His new album has a ridiculous name, and it goes without saying that the Louis Vuitton Don will concoct some insane moniker for his wriggling bundle of joy. Inside sources tell gossip rags that Kanye is heading the name-game, and we're not too surprised. Bro has a vision and he doesn't let anyone get in the way of his artistry.
But what will the lil' saggy bb's name be? Here are Crossfade's best guesses.
We all know Kanye is very religious. Or rather, he loves flashing religious iconography around and he's got no problems rapping about God. If he'll name a record I Am God, surely the name "Jesus" is in the running. And just imagine the adorable moment when Kimye's baby takes its first steps. Kanye can yell out with righteous pride, "Jesus walks!" Best circumstantial LOL ever.
This seems a lot like the joke we just made, except it's not even a joke. Apparently. Many gossip blogs, including Perez Hilton, have reported that Kanye and Kim are thinking about naming their kid Christ with a "K," so it can fit in with the whole familial alliteration. Go on, shake your head, but it doesn't take away their countless millions.
We just love this one for the play on words. Perhaps Kanye is a big fan of the American Tail movies. We know it's one of our favorite childhood flicks. What a way to pay homage. And then the kid can have a grand time watching and rewatching this video until his parents want to rip their hair out. Plus, the idea of Kanye's baby making The Lazy Eye at him is kind of fantastic.
Oh c'mon, this is the cutest idea so far. Sure, it's dumb, but it plays into Kim's self-absorption and would make for one sassy baby. Think of the branding opportunities. Kid Kardashian could be the head spokesperson for his or her own fashion line by the age of three! This is how you build an empire, people. If "Kid" is a good enough name for Prince in Purple Rain, it's a good enough name for Kimye's babe.
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Going out on a limb here, but we think Kanye might be the kind of guy that would name his own kid after himself. But he doesn't have any time for any Jr. nonsense or any Roman numerals. We're talking, the kid's name is straight up Kanye West. Sure, maybe it could get confusing, and maybe some of his plastic would still say Kanye. But it would surely set him up for greatness, right? Right?