Jay Z and Beyoncé love Florida. So much, in fact, they're planning to spend their family vacation exploring the 65,755-sqaure-mile peninsula that 19 million of us call home.
According to Contact Music, after Jigga and Coldplay wrap their respective world tours, the hip-hop power couple is teaming up with BFFs Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow for a "low-key vacation with their kids" around the Sunshine State in a custom RV.
"Gwyneth and Beyonce think the jaunt, going back to nature on a high-end Winnebago, will be the ideal getaway," a source says. "It will be low-key, but it's just what they need and they'll get to spend quality time together.''
With so much to see in the state, we want to make sure that the Carter-Knowles and Martin-Paltrow clans make the best of this vacay. Here are some suggestions for their upcoming visit to Florida.
Spook Hill, Lake Wales
What's more thrilling than throwing your vehicle into neutral and rolling backwards "uphill?" In Lake Wales, the answer is nothing.
According to a sign on North Wales Drive, the Spook Hill phenomenon isn't based on some bullshit optical illusion; it's the ghost of some alligator trying to get revenge on the Indian chief who killed him.
Jay-Z may have "99 Problems," but an alligator certainly ain't one.
Holy Land Experience, Orlando
A trip to Florida isn't complete without a visit to the one of the state's gnarliest theme parks, Holy Land Experience!
Located just minutes from that hedonistic sprawl known as the Walt Disney World Resort and two blocks from the Mall at Millenia, the Holy Land Experience is an Evangelical Christian's Magic Kingdom, complete with the world's largest indoor model of Jerusalem as well as the "Jesus Boat," a replica of JC's personal watercraft used on the Sea of Galilee.
We hear that the Holy Land Experience has been accused of trying to convert Jews, claims they deny. Wonder how they'll feel about Illuminati suspects.
Skunk Ape Research Center, Ochopee
Dave Shealy's a mad man. He owns the Skunk Ape Research Center, located about an hour and half from Miami, where he dedicates most of his time to researching a
mythological biped mammal that's covered in fur and smells like Everglades ass.
Situated on the Big Cypress National Preserve, the Skunk Ape Research Center is the perfect campsite for Jay-Z and crew to kick it wildlife.
Burt Reynolds Museum, Jupiter
You hear Jupiter and automatically think MLB spring training. But the city's also home to our state's greatest museum.
Though she won't admit it publicly, Gwyneth Paltrow cites Burt Reynolds as her biggest inspiration. She'll surely want to honor the greatest mustachioed actor in cinematic history on her Florida trip.
Zombie Tour, Miami
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Horrific? Yes. Marketable? Of course.
The scene of last month's gruesome cannibal crime is now an official stop on the "Crime Coach" bus tour.
Nothing says family vacation like a snap shot of the clan on the very spot where Rudy Eugene butchered another man's face with his teeth. Smile and say, "Cannibalism!"