Holy Ship!! Survival Guide: From Condoms to Shades

Can you hear that tropical drum? It's just our beat-freaking hearts pounding in feverish excitement for the official embarkation of Hard's Holy Ship!! electronic music cruise.

Like, have you seen the artist and activity schedule? It's going to be three amazing days on the high seas. And when we say high, we mean that you're going to be too effed up to make any sensible decisions all weekend.

So don't take chances. Prepare with Crossfade's handy Holy Ship!! survival guide. That way, when it comes time to sail, you'll be entirely ready to uhntz-uhntz on a boat for 96 straight hours!

See also: Top Ten Dance Moves Aboard Holy Ship!! 2013 in Animated GIF!

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Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.