If you're reading this, it's not alcohol poising, just a really bad hangover.
Stay strong. Stay positive. There are 365.25 glorious days collectively known as 2013 left until Planet Earth completes a full orbit around Mr. Sunshine. It's only going to get better.
Crossfade caught a glimpse of the future as it pertains to music earlier this week at a press junket (read: bar) and saw some really wild shit.
From the youngest hip-hop collaboration in the history of the genre to the "mainstreamalization" of polka-tech, 2013's on course to becoming the greatest year of the third millennium!
Check out what's in store after the cut.
5. Rick Ross Eats a Human
It was bound to happen, Rozay eats a baby. Dude's huge. And Hungry. Don't judge.
4. Party Like a Bavarian Pookie Head
Did you know that Molly originated in Europe? No, not the designer drug, but the actual name.
Oom-pah-pah womp, womp, beat freaks.
3. Mr. Worldwide, Pitbull, Becomes Mr. Olympia, Bodybuilding Champion
What's left for "dat lil Chico Pitbull" to conquer? Homie just closed out 2012 center stage at the AAA after having one of the best professional years of his life. Ain't that enough?
Just wait until you see just how diesel big Armandito Perez gets for Mr. Olympia later this year.
2. Kimye Jr. and Blue Ivy Carter Release Watch the Highchair
Jay Z's baby girl, Blue Ivy, hasn't even celebrated her first birthday, but she's already worked with her father on a track. And Kanye just announced that he and Kim Kardashian are expecting their first child together some time in 2013.
Following the success of Jigga's collaboration with Yeezy on Watch the Throne, getting Blue Ivy and Kimye Jr. in the studio ASAP is a no-brainer. Expect a record some time in November.
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1. Crossfade Stops Drinking
From all of us at New Times, happy New Year! We love y'all.