This is not to disrespect the moms or the gays. But seriously, look at this clip below. It's a mashup of one of the most delightful show tunes ever, "Singin' in the Rain," and one of the more danceable R&B songs of the last few years, Rihanna's "Umbrella." It goes straight for the queer Broadway heartstrings. 

It's odd that most of the country still won't accept two men in a legal union, but this is what those 'phobes are listening to while driving to work.

3. Did No One's Parents Make Them Listen to Elvis or the Beatles? 

Sure, it's your job as a parent to feed and clothe your children, but you also need to impart upon them good taste. Seriously. You're responsible for introducing your children to Sgt. Pepper, Billie Jean and a Big Hunk O' Burning Love. Gen Xers were raised listening to their parents' Motown, we appreciate good music. What are these young people growing up with? Billy Ray Cyrus? God help us all. Put on the oldies station for fuck's sake.

2. Has imitation trumped creative talent? 


Not only does it seem like Justin Bieber is bigger than Jesus (beating out the Beatles, of course), but people pretending to be Bieber are even bigger than bigger than Jesus! Holy smokes. It's like everyone wants to skip the delicious feast and go straight to a vile sticky sweet dessert.

To offer the King more credit, he was two years into his career when the Billboard charts were launched. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't have fallen so easily to these show tunes-y monsters. Still, though, the most frightening part is that they've managed to beat out Elvis in under two years. This is a travesty, which leads us to our next question...