Don't know local outlaw Americana crew Los Bastardos Magnificos?
Well, there were about 100 years between the Civil War and the Mariel Boatlift when Miami was more characterized by its Southern heritage than any worldliness.
Those were the days when a cheek full of chewing tobacco, a banjo, and a jug of moonshine were the perfect remedy to a long day machete-hacking through the rocky pinelands, palm trees, gators, snakes, and bobcats.
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You'd post up on a front porch somewheres, slug on copious amounts of blindingly strong liquor, and hoot and holler your way into the morning. Then you'd wake up and tough it through another day on one of the most vicious landscapes on the planet.
That's the type of music Los Bastardos Magnificos play.
Los Bastardos Magnificos. Tuesday, May 24. The Stage Miami, 170 NE 38th St., Miami. The machete-hacking starts at 9 p.m. Call 305-576-9577 or visit thestagemiami.com.