| Columns |

Garage Tapes: Otto Von Schirach at Artopia

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Last night's New Times banger got off to a lukewarm start. But by 10:30 p.m., the crowd was finally ready to fucking party. With unknown quantities of free Barefoot pinot grigio and a couple hundred pisscups of Magic Hat #9 turning their brains to sponges, people shed their inhibitions and slipped on costumes. 

An alligator dude, some kind of cannibal, two sexpots (one with fake tits, the other with a shaved head and flat chest), a gorilla, and Notorious Nastie all jumped onstage to help announce the arrival of Bermudan spaceman Otto Von Schirach. Booze splashed to the floor, destroying designer shoes. Cameras got smashed. And everybody lit up a Swisher, tossed a triangle, and bumped bodies. 

Soon, though, the bacchanalia got shut down. At 10:47 p.m., Otto and crew went silent. And despite early reports, it wasn't a noise complaint that killed the fun. According to City of Miami Police officer Gutierrez: "We didn't shut it down. It's not even 11. College security pulled the plug because of intoxicated people passed out on the premises." 

Too bad those drunks never heard the saying: "When in Rome, puke so you can keep partying."

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.