Lady Gaga used to have it all.
She had the most Twitter followers in the world. She had number-one single after number-one single. And she had a legion of obsessively adoring fans at her every beck and call.
Well, she probably still has those Little Monsters. But in a lot of ways, Lady Gaga has really fallen off. Did you realize she didn't release a single bit of music in the entire 12 months of 2012? Sure, she seemed busy, but things are really taking their toll.
Don't believe us? Just look at these five reasons Lady Gaga doesn't matter anymore.
The Internet Is Bored with Her
We know it seems hard to believe. Especially with all the news of her struggle with bulimia, her new perfume Fame, and her various charitable endeavors. But the people at marketing group Accuracast realized the other day that no one is paying attention. In fact, people have been paying less and less attention to Gaga since her Internet popularity peak in May 2010. She's been in a mostly steady decline. The facts are all there, you just have to check Google trends.
She Is Bored with Herself
Now, this might seem like a trickier trend to pick up on. Because you can't just ask some search engine for stats on Gaga's inner turmoil. But if you pay attention, it just doesn't seem like Gaga is feeling very inspired. She's constantly demonizing her own famous situation. Have you seen the commercial for her perfume? And she's killing the rebirth metaphor with overuse. The egg on the red carpet was one thing, but she's got like, four different rebirth cycles on this latest Born This Way Ball tour. Looking for something new, Gaga?
She Got Fat
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Alright, we don't necessarily buy into this whole plump pop-tart notion, but you guys certainly do. All the gossip rags in America had a field day with Gaga's fluctuating weight, and things go so bad, she even had to out herself as having a lifelong problem with eating disorders. But what kind of pop stars are being hounded about their weight? That's right, the ones that are washed up. There's just nothing else left to say!
She's Let Others Fill Her Void
And that's not necessarily anyone's fault but her own. Gaga's the one who turned her back on the world in 2012, decided not to release a single minute of music. Sure, she's holed up in the studio working on Artpop. But while she's writing what she promises is, like, two albums worth of material, Justin Bieber has taken control of the Twitter universe, passing her for most followers in the world. Katy Perry is winning more Grammys and earning more number-one singles than even makes sense. Carly Rae Jepsen ... was a thing. C'mon Gaga, you're slipping. What are you doing?
She Debuted Songs on Farmville
And then there's this sad piece of information. In fact, the last time Gaga experienced anything close to her former Google glory of May 2010 was when she released some new music ... On Farmville.
Yeah, the same Farmville as that dumb game on Facebook your mom wouldn't stop sending you invites for. No, mom, I won't help feed your cows. No, Gaga, I don't want to listen to your Farmville single. That right there is the most irrelevant thing we've ever heard.
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Will 2013 be a new year of relevancy for Gaga? Or have we all just kinda stopped caring?
Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball Tour. Friday, March 15. BB&T Center, 1 Panther Pkwy., Sunrise. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. and tickets cost $49 to $175 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 954-835-8000 or visit thebbtcenter.com .
Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball Tour. Saturday, March 16. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. and tickets cost $52.50 to $178 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 786-777-1000 or visit aaarena.com.