Hey, America, not sure if you got the memo or not. But Chris Brown is public enemy number one.
Before 2009, Crossfade admired the young performer's vocal chops and sharp, Timberlake'd Jacko dance swagger. But ever since he beat the shit out of his then-girlfriend, R&B siren Rihanna, we have to admit: Breezy is a straight-up bummer.
And not just because he is a perpetrator of domestic violence. That's enough reason to hate on him. (Or at least bark him down until his career unties itself.) But as we've compiled after the jump, there's a whole mess of reasons that Chris Brown is the biggest jerk ever.
5. Chris Brown Parks Like an Asshole
Early this morning, TMZ reported that Brown is pissing off everyone in his condo by parking multiple luxury automobiles in handicapped parking spaces. As available parking is Miami's highest-valued commodity, Crossfade is certain you will agree that this is an offense of the highest order. And we're just getting started.
4. Chris Brown Is Running a Dog Fighting Ring in His Apartment
Not really. But his neighbors did report that Brown has been racing his pet dogs in the hallway of the building from which he is also ripping off handicapped parking. Also, the initials "CB" have been mysteriously carved on the elevator door.
3. Chris Brown Hates Homos
Chris Brown whips out homophobic slurs at the drop of a hat, be it at parking attendants giving him a ticket for taking a parking spot reserved for people with special needs or at a member of washed-up, early 2000s boy band B2K.
2. Chris Brown Can't Even Control Himself on Good Morning America
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An ABC News studio is the last place you want to throw a violent temper tantrum. Brown gets extra points for this one because his outburst was provoked by questions about his violent past. He sure showed them.
1. Chris Brown Beat Up Rihanna and Got a Slap On the Wrist
Like we were saying, Chris Brown sucks.