In the 1920s, some intellectual turd purportedly told Earnest Hemingway that he couldn't write a compelling story in less than a few hundred words, and Hemingway was all, "Watch this."
He drank something stiff, no doubt, and turned out a most heart-wrenching tale in six words: "For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."
He proved it doesn't take more than six of anything to be interesting. Vine one-ups the concept with six-second videos, which might make some scoff, "Oh, who could be funny in six seconds?" Well naysayers, STFU. These five musicians are pretty damn hilarious.
Not only is Miller a dope-ass rapper, bringing it hard with lines about astrophysics and fat-booty bitches, he's also a master Viner. His hilarious history on the social networking site has been chronicled by BuzzFeed. And as you can see, he often allows his famous rapping friends to make cameos. That's Chance the Rapper in the above video right there. Lots of bullshit talk going down. He's also got great revines.
See also: Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Rapper
Jody HighRoller, AKA Riff Raff, kind of comes off like a total idiot, and we're not really big fans of his music, but talk to someone about the Mad Decent MC, and they're sure to say, "He is hysterical on Vine, tho." We don't know about funny. But dude is one wild boy, that's for sure. We're hoping this is evidence his musical career is meant to be a comedic.
Rappers are obviously the best at Vine. And Action Bronson is another funny man in six seconds, choosing mostly to sing terrible karaoke versions of some of the world's favorite songs. Here he is ridin' to French Montana, but check out his profile to see him totally merk "Suavemente," a real 305 classic. He also does fabulous renditions of "Dance With Somebody," "Blinded by the Light," and "Thinking Bout You."
Finally! Someone who's not a rapper! Justin Martin is one helluva DJ-producer known for rollin' with the Dirtybird crew. He loves pizza, booty-rockin' techno, and LOLs, and he's good at getting creative with his clips. Lots of Dirtybird friends make appearances.
Tyler, the Creator
Tyler, the Creator, helped his rag-tag team of rapping/producing/skating teens hit the big time by mastering every form of social media on the planet. His foray into the world of six-second videos is just as masterful. Sorry everybody else, but Tyler the Creator might be one of the greatest musicians to use Vine of all time.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.