Star Wars. It's not really a sexy movie, but try telling that to a bunch of geeks.
Alright, alright. We'll concede Leia's slave outfit produced a lot of first boners, and every woman wishes she could look so regal in bondage. But Darth Maul with boobs? That's just terrifying.
At least Yoda's a master of amazing Jedi party tricks. Like undoing a sexy stormtrooper's bra with one flick of his lightsaber.
Even in real life, this bitch is some kind of lioness witch-goddess. Look at her evil stripes. She's clearly dancing on the dark-side. Something tells us a lot of good men have been seduced into doing some very bad things by her wicked ways. Rawr.
I love bad bitches, and that's my fucking problem. Actually, it's not a problem at all at this party. What would've happened if Darth Maul would have rocked this getup in the movie? Sure, he wouldn't have been nearly as grotesque and horrifying, but he would have looked great in boots and fishnets.
This Chewbacca seems a little run-down. He might have taken one too many trips to Walmart. That doesn't really change the fact that he's one of the best Star Wars characters of all time. Looks like he's got himself a friend too. We're not sure what level of Jedi power those white blankets represent, but it's safe to say this little green dude is packing heat. He's got big friends, obvi.
This bro gets 'round! He found himself a pink Vader-Jedi mistress! Wait, what the fuck is going on with this girl's color scheme? Is she a goodie? Is she a baddie? Is she subscribing to gender roles? Aw hell, it doesn't matter. That suit is bangin'!
Seriously, what the hell character is this supposed to be? She doesn't look like she's from Star Wars. She looks like an escapee from the Renaissance festival. Girl, get your fantasies right. She just wanted to excuse to wear her cloak. We know how it is.
Hot damn! Don't fuck with this chick! She's armed and she's not afraid to use the force! Girl really gets it. She's rocking the hair, the latex, and she has a real lightsaber. Well, not a real lightsaber. No one's outfit can be that cool.
Chewbacca be like, "How many drinks until you ladies feel like experimenting in interspecies, interstellar beastiality?"
Dude, fucking face palm. Did you even try? You just had this alien mask in the backseat of your car since Halloween, and you thought putting it on would get you some nerd poon. George Lucas ain't never made no close encounters of the bro kind. At least this gray-faced being looks like he came to party.
Alright, screw this girl. One, she's got the best sleeves in the place. And two, she looks really good from the worst angle in the history of angles. That's just, like, not fair. And those boots don't even make her look like a stripper. Well, maybe that's up to each of us to decide for ourselves.
Everyone thought it was so shocking when Vader took off his mask. Little did we know what he was hiding in that body suit! Now we see where Leia gets it.
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