The Gathering of the Juggalos is a cultural mecca for Middle American freaks.
Now, the FBI may consider Insane Clown Posse and their Faygo-soaked followers to be a gang. But that just eems like a shitty attempt by the Feds to snap the ugly, crooked backbone of this great nation.
Let's celebrate the beauty of The Clown by taking a closer look at the top ten Fashion Freakouts at this year's Gathering.
Terrible hair is a must for Juggalos. We demand our Clowns come topped with scraggly straw 'dos, twisted and dyed into something that might be considered a weapon by TSA.
Of course, below that crazy hair is an ugly mug. And if you're not going to cover it up with face paint, go for gore. We can't tell if this is real blood, but genuine goo is far superior to the fake shit. Even better ... Someone else's real blood all over you.
Dirty chic's at the top of the Juggalo fashion pyramid. When you're at the Gathering, you're not supposed to shower or wash your hands. Ever.
If you're a Juggalo, it's still cool to dress like you just shopped at Hot Topic in 2003. Skinny jeans are only cool with sheep, and you definitely ain't no conformist hipster asshole. Plus, look at all the stash pockets.
Like any classy music festival, full-body costumes are a Gathering must. These guys are actually major players in the Dark Carnival. They've come to reap your sorry soul in case you take too many of that guy's mushies and totally fucking kick it. Sacrificing yourself at the Gathering is pretty raw.
The Juggalos are a superprogressive social group. They accept people of all races, genders, sexualities, and weight classes. Just take a look at this little fella. He's playing with gender-roles and childhood fantasies! Love is love is love, even when it's between a dolphin and a unicorn.
Of course, ICP and the Juggalos love professional wrestling. You know, the kind where dudes wear spandex and paint their faces and jump around and hit each other with chairs and shit. So it's a strong move to come dressed as a crazy fucking Clown-y wrestler. Anyone can apply a chokehold. And you're never too skinny to hit a guy with a ladder.
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If you happen to find yourself at the Gathering and you're a sexy bitch, you've got to dress yourself up in space-age garbage and tight-fitting furry shit. If you look too pretty, they're gonna kick you out. They threw their own shit at Tila Tequila because she wasn't real enough. Don't test the Juggalos.
Ba-ba-ba! You just gotta go to the Gathering in some gnarly face paint, bro! The cakier, the better. And you've got to come up with your own design. Every Clown has his own colors. Just do a pound of mushrooms in a smelly tent until your spirit freak reveals itself to you.
This Jason Voorhees-looking motherfucker keeps it real by wearing his underground occupation around his neck. This is the Gathering. Drugs are not only allowed, they're required. And he's actually giving people quite a deal. Those are actual drink prices, people. If Miami were like this guy, we'd all be wasted all the time.