DJ Khaled's Kiss The Ring Strip Club Party at King of Diamonds in Miami Tonight

Fuck a bitch named Isaac.

Tonight, DJ Khaled's gonna make it rain hundies and platinum hits all over King of Diamonds. And he so serious.

According to the official hype, "the whole world will be in the building" for the Miami-based hip-hop heavyweight as he pops bottles in honor of his new album, Kiss The Ring.

We da best. So only the finest dimes will bus' it open on the poles.

We shouldn't have to tell you how crazy this is going to be. Just listening to a DJ Khaled track is like taking a stroll through the champagne room.

And guaranteed, everyone in hip-hop, from YMCMB to MMG, will be in the club -- reppin' hard, humpin' harder, and droppin' more cash than we'd ever touch in six lifetimes.

Oh, and there will be a ridiculous amount of bubble-butt. Earlier this month, Rick Ross had his album release party at KOD, and our ass feels inferior just looking at the pictures.

Tonight's going to be like the Asslympics. Because stripping ain't a hobby for these ladies. It's a "professional sport."

Plus, we're predicting serious thunderstorms. KOD is used to getting wet by the thousands when rappers stop by, and tonight they're going even bigger.

So fellas, if this is your first time, make sure you come correct. But you should definitely come, and bring some fine ladies with you. Even bitches love strippers.

DJ Khaled's Kiss the Ring album release party. Monday, August 27. King of Diamonds, 17800 NE Fifth Ave., Miami. Party starts at 9 p.m. and tickets cost $50 at the door. Call 305-999-9500 or visit kingofdiamondmiami.com.

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