Dear Russian Red, I Love You...

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Dear Russian Red,

I want to take this opportunity to proclaim my love for you. I want to shout it from the digital mountaintops, Russian Red, for all the Internet to know. No, not in that pervy admiring you from the cybernetic afar sort of way. Nor in that cute infatuation befitting of a teenager pining over a favorite performer, but frankly, more than a little creepy for a man of 30.

Not that you aren't attractive, Russian Red. Because...well, obviously you are. You kind of remind me of Katy Perry, without all the slutty. Or the actress who plays the underage girl Hank Moody unwittingly bedded in Californication last season, only prettier. You know the one--much to Hank's chagrin she publishes a book called Punching and Fucking based on...well, that's not important.

What is important is that I'm not some creep. I'm just a music fan enamored by your easygoing, yet intelligent blend of acoustic and electronic sounds, and your surprising melding of upbeat songs with downbeat tempos all in what is undeniably one of the more intoxicating varieties of indie and folk I've stumbled upon this year.  You're the best thing that's happened to me since The XX, Russian Red.  I mean it.

Yours truly,
The Unintentionally Creepy 30-Year-Old Who Posted This Blog To Sing Your Music's Praises

Check out Russian Red with Alex Cuba tonight at the Colony Theater on Lincoln Rd. at 8 p.m. Admission is free.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.