Face it, you have no idea what Cinco de Mayo is about. No, it's not Mexican Independence. But you know what? It doesn't really matter. We're just happy to have an excuse to drink all the tequila, Corona, and Dos Equis we want, and get the chance to shake our asses to some moombahton.
For everyone who wasn't slayed by day drinking, Grand Central was the get-down. This party was so big, it was Cinco de Massive. We had moombah coming out of our eyeballs, and there was a fat dude in a Santa hat.
Like, what more could you want out of a holiday?
Don't get it twisted though; it took a little minute for the place to get hopping. It ain't easy to drag your ass out on a dance floor when you've been shoving tacos and lime-flavored beer down your throat for hours in the hot sun. Sabo was getting people warmed up at their own speed. He kept it kind of chill in the beginning, giving a lot of what we'd have to call moombahtech. It was exactly what the place needed to refresh.
The L.A.-based funk master worked the floor up until they were ready for shit like Missy Elliot's "Get Ur Freak On." In an age where the art of opening seems about as relevant as Latin, dudes like Sabo deserve big credit for knowing how to get it done. A real boss bro, he turned the floor out from mild to picante by midnight.
In a surprising turn of events, Nadastrom hopped on the decks. How often do you see headliners open for themselves? About never. And they were generous, constantly tag-teaming with Sabo who more than deserved to enjoy the crowd he'd helped pump up.
Both Dave Nada and Matt Nordstrom were in the building, proving that the moombah domain has always been and always will be their kingdom. They dropped the sexiest remixes of Daft Punk, Pharrell and Busta Rhymes, and more classic faves. They looked like they were having the best Cinco de Mayo ever going back to back with their buddy.
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The sombrero'd crowd broke out the reefer and lit the place up just in time for a very special guest. The host of the evening, bass enthusiast and dirty puppet Pepe Bilette, emerged from below the decks to welcome his brother from another mother DJ Craze.
Two of Miami's favorite characters had smiles on their faces as Bilette cracked some jokes and passed out shirts and cards via his posse. He rolls with fat Santa and a thick chick, what else would you expect?
Without further ado, Craze let loose on the records, scratching them vinyls till they were smoking hot. It's safe to say Craze had the place peaking and the most energetic set of the night. Bitches get ratchet for Craze, and he gave 'em something to twerk to with "Express Yourself," "Pendejas" and the old classic reggae jam "Murder She Wrote."
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Of course, he blasted a mad ton of trap, because he's a real G who doesn't give a shit about some DJs who'd call it a passing fad. All the 'bows were knocking to "Love Sosa," "Satisfaction" and a special 305 shoutout to JWLS with his remix of Craze's own "Selekta."
We cheered and jumped around when he dropped the Kennedy James trap remix of "Suavemente," the one song we were dying to hear all freakin' day. He closed his set out hard as everyone sweat out the jams on the floor. Nadastrom came to take back control and do the b2b dance with Sabo until the party was over and the only people left were the most hardcore of moombah fans, clearly not day-drinkers because they were still on their feet.
After a party like that, we're pretty sure Cinco do Mayo has been about moombahton all along. Here's to our hangover.