Rapper Chaos from local group Grind Mode ("I'm So High") is probably more "Miami" than anybody I've ever met. Last year he gave me his list of the top 100 things to do to survive Memorial Day Weekend in Miami, which instantly became a Memorial Day Weekend classic. While it's a bit raunchy and X-rated at certain points, it's probably as real as you can get.
I decided to spare you some time and show you numbers one through 10 on the list. You know, David Letterman Top 10-style. And for the sake of keeping it clean, I toned down the language a little bit. But never fear, because a link to the uncensored complete list is located at the end of this post.
Chaos' Tips to Surviving Memorial Day Weekend in Miami:
10. Rumors and gossip never make it back to your city, so HAVE FUN!
9. Ladies, you know want sex just as much as men do, so there's no need to lie!
8. Ladies, he doesn't have to have husband qualities so you can have a "good time." Stop thinking about it so much and just let loose.
7. Ladies, don't blame it on the alcohol because men don't.
6. Good sex does not make good relationships, so keep it as a good MEMORY. Don't make it what it isn't!
5. DO NOT VIDEOTAPE anything. Some people have kids and spouses. What happens in Miami stays in Miami.
4. Condoms, condoms, condoms.
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3. Do not tell anyone your hotel or room number on the first day. They might be CRAZY, a stalker, or worse ... a thief.
2. Men, just because she rejected you or shot you off, that doesn't mean you should curse her out. Plus she might have been a man, had an STD, or was just plain CRAZY!
1. Ladies, leave ATTITUDES in your own city. Don't pack it in your bags when coming to Miami!