The awesome promise of sea-faring adventure with Thee Oh Sees, Quintron and Miss Pussycat, DJ Jonathan Toubin, the Soft Pack, the Dirtbombs, and Neil Hamburger should've been enough for you to grab your sunglasses, stuff your hipster junk into a banana hammock (or perhaps a palm tree-print bathing suit), and buy a ticket to Bruise Cruise 2012.
But if not, cruise officials have just announced big lineup news that'll undoubtedly make you wanna become a Bruiser. Three new bands -- Canadian hardcore crew Fucked Up, Brooklyn scene queens Vivian Girls, and so-called supergroup The Togas -- have been added to the Carnival Imagination's passenger list.
On dry land, Fucked Up's lead screamer Father Damian, guitar guy 10,000 Marbles, axe man Concentration Camp, bassist Mustard Gas, drummer Mr. Jo, and utility player Young Governor are basically a six-person, 1000-pound punk rock wrecking ball. But drag that massive destructive power onto a cruise ship, roll it down the waterslide, or drop it into the jacuzzi full of cool kids ... And who knows what kinda irreversible damage might be wrought?
The Vivian Girls, meanwhile, are a little less prone to violence. Typically, these Girls like to give off good vibes and riff through chilled-out indie tuneage while looking cute. And that's exactly what they gave last year's batch of Bruisers. But this time 'round, bass chick Katy Goodman and guitarist Cassie Ramone won't be rocking out on the open seas. They'll be holding down a DJ set on the Lido deck.
And lastly, there's The Togas, a mysterious quartet that cruise officials like to call a "supergroup." The members include veteran Bruiser Ty Segall, The Strange Boys' Philip Sambol, Shannon and the Clams' Shannon Shaw, and The Reigning Sound's Lance Wille.
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According to the official Bruise Cruise press release: "[The Togas] will be performing their debut set as a covers-only catalogue providing the highest quality of oceanic entertainment. After purchasing a ticket, each Bruiser will be able to nominate one song to be performed at sea."
So polish your shades. Slip into that Speedo. Buy a ticket. Put together a request list replete with your favorite semi-ironic pop classics. And get ready to bruise and cruise.
Bruise Cruise with Fucked Up, The Togas, Vivian Girls DJ set, Thee Oh Sees, Quintron and Miss Pussycat, DJ Jonathan Toubin, the Soft Pack, the Dirtbombs, and Neil Hamburger. Friday, February 10, to Monday, February 13. Carnival Imagination, boarding at the Port of Miami, 1015 N. America Way, Miami. Visit bruisecruisefestival.com.