Diabetes, a literal hole in the heart, and severe brain hemorrhaging would almost certainly kill the common man.
Poison's Bret Michaels, however, is not your average Joe.
"I feel really great," Michaels recently told the Columbus Dispatch. "I'm about 90-percent back from the hemorrhage and the heart surgery. I feel better now than ever, but I still have a little further to go. I will be great."
And Michaels's determination to overcome medial woes may soon be the backbone of a Poison biopic.
Uh, yeah ... According to the Dispatch, the 49-year-old rock star is planning a movie about his life.
"Mostly, when you see rock movies, it has to be this over-the-top thing," Michaels says. "I want to give people a Bret Michaels movie where they see that my life is a comedy of errors."
Those errors, however, are already abundantly clear.
Between 2007 and 2009, Michaels was synonymous with train-wreck television. That's when the Poison frontman cashed in on his '80s glam metal days and landed a reality TV deal with VH1 for a show where 20
star fuckers women played along competed for Bret's affection.
Rock of Love became one the network's most-watched shows. And for the first time on television, viewers watched as an aging rock star's sense of reality deteriorated on national TV.
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It was sad, really, but not nearly as embarrassing as "Pets Rock," Michaels's exclusive collection of "toys, beds, apparel, collars, leashes, and bowls - everything your pet needs" for PetSmart. br>
Admit it, you're dying to watch a Brett Michaels biopic.
Rock of Ages Tour. With Def Leppard, Poison, and Lita Ford. Thursday, August 9. BankAtlantic Center, 1 Panther Pkwy., Sunrise. Tickets cost $32 to $122 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 954-835-8000 or visit bankatlanticcenter.com.