Halloween is one of the biggest party nights of the year.
So if you head out on All Hallow's Eve in Miami, prepare yourself for all kinds of spooktacular sights. Are those zombies really zombies? Or have they just drunk themselves near death? The answer, dear partier, is yes and yes.
We spent our dangerously devious eve in a large dark room full of pumping techno beats and bone-chilling bass. We got down and dirty with the raviest kids in the 305. And we were bewitched by the dance-conjuring spell of Germany's wickedest wizard, Boys Noize.
Arriving about 60 minutes before the witching hour, we found a dancefloor covered in ghouls.
Every sort of Halloween character was there, from Waldo to Wayne's World, Spring Breakers, mummies, angels, Power Rangers, Princess Leia, Mario and his bros.
Fuck, even a 2 Chainz was there. Truuu.
The local opener laid down ill beat bashes, bringing some hip-hop, some electro, anything to get the kids dancing.
The place was done up with hanging evil balls, streamers, and two slumping Boys Noize skulls flanking either side of the stage. The cauldron of festivities was set to a slow boil, and the main ingredient -- the Noizeman himself -- didn't appear until well past 1:30 a.m., but shit do those kids go crazy for German techno gods.
As soon as Boys Noize hit the stage, the crowd crashed forward and let out horrifying screams.
He began his set with a dark and dreary recitation by Vincent Price of his "Thriller" tale, minus the music, then dropped right into the aggro anti-melodies of "Inhale/Exhale." The smoke machines exploded over our heads, their blasts drowning out our screams.
The Noizeman ripped through his catalog like a chainsaw bat out of Hell.
He had us doing the disco with "Starwin," we ran the techno trap, we did the minimal shuffle and the electro slide. At some moments, he went uncharacteristically hard. Not hard in that dark techno way, but hard in the fratty bass-go-Hulk-smash kind way. Then he'd bring it back around with some experimental tempo change and loop out the sound until the track was nearly unrecognizable.
If Boys Noize is anything, unpredictable would be the adjective.
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He played through big hits like Breach's "Let's Jack" and the local GTA's "Shake Dem." He threw down on some Disclosure and brought some of the old faves of 2007's classic Oi Oi Oi back from beyond. He assaulted us with drums on "Go Hard" and took us to Compton with Kendrick's "M.A.A.D. City."
He even played "One More Time" into the wee hours of the morning, finishing at about 4 a.m., leaving us wide-eyed vampires just enough time to make it home before the dreaded sunrise.
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The crowd had thinned by that bloody hour, but Boys Noize came out to shake hands and dole out hugs to the front row at the end of the stage before stalking away into the shadows.
A closer came on for whatever stragglers hadn't had enough skull-crushing bass, but we began our journey homeward, our only regret that we didn't collect more candy.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.