Blowfly's Weird and Wonderful Night at The Vagabond, September 30


The Vagabond

Friday, September 30, 2011

Better Than: A hot fudge sundae.

Even at 72 years old, Blowfly still has all the humor, presence, and charm of a school boy, which he sweetly displayed last night at The Vagabond.

This weekend, Miami is celebrating one of its favorite potty-mouthed musical heroes. With The Weird World of Blowfly, a documentary on Clarence Reid, AKA Blowfly, screening all weekend at O Cinema, the rarely seen singer is making more than one area appearance. And thankfully, we didn't miss them all.

The show started early, around midnight. Again, he's no spring chicken. The club was filled mostly with Critical Massers and moviegoers. It wasn't packed yet. But there was definitely a tight group of people who had come just to see this master of filth spew dirty words with a mischievous smile.

The first lyrics we deciphered were "at home playing with my dick." It was the beginning of a 45-minute set and a one-song encore filled with giggles. Some people don't think shitting jokes are funny. But guess what? Those people are wrong. Blowfly has shrewdly cornered the American market on dick, pussy, and fart jokes set to music.

Normally clothed in a sequined cloak, mask, and full-body costume, Blowfly wore a black track suit and shirt that said "BF" on it. He lost the mask after two songs. His voice was a little scratchy. But man, he's a screamer! His hand with signature long fingernails had been trimmed, it seemed.

He sang to the girls in the front row, serenading them, saying things like, "When I started to come, I screamed your name. But it wasn't you." It was his own version of "Everything Is You." And the wonderful thing about Blowfly is he isn't a pervert. He's grandfatherly, so every gross statement is adorable. The girls mostly blushed, smiled, and danced.

The music's so funky and fun, you'd have to be nearly dead to not move around. Blowfly introduced the band, calling the drummer "the drummer" and even shouting out Rat Bastard who was there to help out.

Blowfly prefaced his song "Rapp Dirty" -- considered by some to be the first rap song ever recorded -- by saying that this song sold three and a half million copies before 1966.

The highlight of the night was his rendition of "Should I Fuck That Big Fat Ho." He started it by saying he sees the hot girls onstage and his dick stays down. But then he spots a "flabby" girl at the back of the room and his dick rises. The dance floor was packed with people who also want to bone a chunky honey.

"Heard y'all were the smartest people in the world here," he told the crowd before asking us to sing Blowfly's ABCs with him. Each letter had an adjective attached to the word pussy. "Don't say C when it should be F. Or I'll have to come out there and butt-fuck somebody." Some of the words used to describe the woman area were, "eternal pussy," "fucking pussy," "oversized pussy," "vagina pussy." And apparently, you want no part of zombie pussy. Pure poetry!

Introducing "Pussy Hell" and telling the audience's hot girls to leave or they'll enter into this terrible place, he sounded less like a preacher or a creep, and more like a fatherly storyteller concerned about the eternal state of our vaginas.

The show ended, and the crowd chanted "Blowfly! Blowfly! Blowfly!" And an encore of "The Incredible Fuck" satiated everyone's need for incredible funk.

Blowfly is still one of Miami's cultural treasures. Next time he's performing, you really need to bring your mother, your friends from New York, your little brother, everyone to witness this genius.

Critic's Notebook

Personal Bias: Poop is funny.

The Crowd: Young dancing ladies, a guy in a Blowfly tee, bike folks.

Overheard in the crowd: "Look at his fingernail!!!"

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