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Beyoncé's Baby Shower: Five Perfect Gifts for Queen Bee's Unborn Little Girl

The word's out! That bump you first saw on Beyoncé at the MTV Music Awards is the current home of an unborn baby girl.



Bee's bigmouth Destiny's Child pal Kelly Rowland spilled the beans. She blabbed to Us Magazine that all she's getting the newborn is love, since her dad's going to spoil her already. C'mon, Kelly, you're not poor. You could at least snag some diapers on the way over.



Of course, we're not invited to Beyoncé's baby shower. But if we were, here's a little list of practical and not-so-practical gifts for the new little lady.



5. Stupid Expensive Stroller

Strollers are stupid expensive. But since Beyoncé sang a song all about "Bug A Boo," we've got just the gift for this expectant diva: one of the most popular and pricey baby-carrying devices out there, the Bugaboo Donkey, which costs over a grand and can be personalized just for her!




4. Organic Etsy Stuff

Everyone's getting Ms. Knowles' fetus Tiffany rattles. But not you. You're gonna get her some crazy shit off Etsy. The baby's gonna end up liking yours the best anyway. Also, metal in the mouth? Can't that wait till she needs braces? This organic wood teether from Rewoodtoys is appropriately musical for baby music royalty.




3. Daddy's Lil' Homegirl Onesie

This "I listen to hip hop with my daddy" onesie is beyond appropriate. And even though it's $16 for something the kid'll grow out of in a week, it's the message that counts.




2. A $17,000 Pacifier

No joke, this pacifier costs $17,000. But whatever, it's beautiful. For 14-karat white gold, 278 diamonds, and a silicone nipple, it's a steal.




1. Baby's First Automobile

Sure, baby Shawna Carter won't need this machine for a few years. But it's cheaper than the pacifier. This $13,000 replica of an Audi Auto Union Type C roadster is incredibly fitting for daddy's lil' homegirl. At that price, let's hope there are airbags in this bitch.



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Liz Tracy has written for publications such as the New York Times, the Atlantic, Refinery29, W, Glamour, and, of course, Miami New Times. She was New Times Broward-Palm Beach's music editor for three years. Now she plays one mean monster with her 2-year-old son and obsessively watches British mysteries.
Contact: Liz Tracy