Now in darkness world stops turning! Ashes where the bodies burning! -- "War Pigs," Black Sabbath
When your predictions for the future of Planet Earth and the general good of all mankind are just as murky and doom-filled as the fourth and final verse of "War Pigs," there's probably no better way to acknowledge the passing of yet another year than waking up after sundown to wallow in the brutal glory of Black Sabbath, several pints of cheap beer, and the inevitable collapse of Western civilization.
We'd also like to imagine that the Road will go all out with human skulls on sticks, buckets full of black-market pills, and bat's head appetizers.
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Just imagine it ... While the rest of the world is trapped in shiny megaclub castles for celebrity-soaked celebrations of the New Year, you'll be sweating in the shadows at Tobacco Road, fighting off a booze-and-tranquilizer coma, and trying to sing along with local metal crews Jagged, Paralysys, Chamber of Dreams, 1000 Pounds of Thrust, and Waking Delta as they raid the darkest corners of Ozzy's catalogue.
Umm ... Can you hear Satan laughing, too?
Black Sabbath Tribute with Jagged, Paralysys, Chamber of Dreams, 1000 Pounds of Thrust, and Waking Delta. Saturday, January 1. Tobacco Road, 626 S. Miami Ave., Miami. The descent begins at 9 p.m. and admission costs $5. Call 305-374-1198 or visit tobacco-road.com.