Your Float Gets Spiked at the Yard House

Yesterday evening, I found myself in a shadowy corner of the Yard House, a warehouse-style chain restaurant and beer supermarket at Merrick Park. There’s a massive selection of 50-odd pale ales, dark ales, lagers, and more; it’s a garish scene, set to the nerve-squelching strains of so-called classic rock like “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship. Why would a semi-professional alcoholic and part-time philosopher waste valuable drinking-slash-thinking time here? 

Draft beer floats. Yes … Real, true brew and a double-scoop of frozen dairy treat, commingling in a pint glass like bold, unnatural lovers hell-bent on defying the conventions of both serious beer-drinking and traditional dessert. It’s a not-too-subtle, stiff middle finger to boring, old sassafras. And the Yard House serves up two different versions: the Lindemans Framboise and the Young’s Chocolate Stout, both with vanilla ice cream for a reasonable $6.95. 

Oh, a final note: For the definitive upscale stoner meal, pair your beer float with a $9.95 order of four Béarnaise Sliders — a gourmand’s White Castle — featuring crumbling Angus beef topped with French-fried onions on a soft, starchy bun. Just like my waiter said: “There’s a big kid in all of us, huh?”