Audio By Carbonatix
Hello, evil tooth-rotting, sugar-bombing, heart-starving, blood-sludging, junkie-making, fat-promoting, cancer-juicing, world-dominating multinational corporation. Thanks for this excellent Simpsons Super Bowl advertisement.
Just kidding, Coke. We love ya.
We used to be billionaires too. Then, one day, the bank showed up and seized all of our assets. No more mansion. No more Learjet. No more hounds with bees in their mouths so that when the dogs open wide to bark, the bees fly out and sting you. We lost everything.
Miami, make your New Year’s Resolution Count!
We’re $16,000 away from our End-of-Year campaign goal, with just a five days left! We’re ready to deliver — but we need the resources to do it right. If Miami New Times matters to you, please contribute today to help us expand our current events coverage when it’s needed most.
All that’s left is an old shopping cart and the job security of collecting the ubiquitous, discarded aluminum skins with which you encase your fine product. They’re everywhere.