Imagine you’re an 18-year-old freshman settling into your dorm room two days before you start school at the University of Miami. You hear news reports about a category 4 hurricane barreling toward your new home, but chalk it up to media hysteria. It couldn’t be worse than the monsoons you’d…
See also “Paris Hilton’s DJ Debut Sucked Balls” and “DJ Paris Pisses Off Samantha Ronson and Deadmau5.” Paris Hilton is a modern tragedy. This dumb bitch already destroyed what little faith we still had in the DJ scene when she puked all over Pop Festival in Brazil. But breaking our…
See a full slideshow remembering Hurricane Andrew here. Also read “Hurricane Andrew at 20: Miami Herald Reporters Remember.” In a column published today, I gathered memories of a bunch of ex Miami Herald reporters about covering Hurricane Andrew, which ruined Miami 20 years ago today. The newspaper won a Pulitzer…
Uncle Luke,the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke criticizes Joe Philbin for letting go of Chad Johnson.The Miami Dolphins are the most hypocritical football organization to ever…
No, this isn’t some new, tween-targeted Disney Channel show about twins in middle school. Zevia is a fairly new soda brand, mostly sold in specialty food shops like the Fresh Market. Instead of using sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, aspartame, or unicorn laughter as a sweetener, Zevia uses stevia.Zevia, which sells for about 99 cents…
See also “Hank Williams Jr. and Five Other Tea Party Musicians.” Over the weekend, Hank Williams Jr. exercised his constitutional right to speak out of his ass, making some outlandish statements about President Barack Obama. According to the Huffington Post, the 63-year-old country boy was nearing the end of a…
Read “Carlos Miller: Freedom For Photographers.”Blogger, photographer, and cop watchdog Carlos Miller is looking for a new home on the Internet. Yesterday, he announced that Pixiq, the web company that hosts his blog Photgraphy Is Not A Crime, informed him that he has a month to move to another homestead…
See the full archive of Pepe Billete’s columns here.A couple of weeks ago I wrote an open letter to Chad “OchoCinco” Johnson, welcoming him back to Miami and updating him on some things that have changed in the 305 since his departure to Langston, Oklahoma in 1997. I was excited…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Mass Shootings Prove Gun Buyers Should Be Drug-Tested
Reader Mail: New Times, Not Calder, Is Killing Horses
The only thing consistent about pop-up restaurants in Miami is that they are the latest form of branding. They can be used to build a client base that will sustain a permanent space while others are done simply because you can’t feed weird people weird food in a normal space…
Norman Braman was no match for the forces backing Miami-Dade County commissioners Bruno Barreiro, Audrey Edmonson, Barbara Jordan, and Dennis Moss. The billionaire car dealership mogul’s slate of Luis Garcia, Alison Austin, Shirley Gibson and Alice Pena produced an epic fail. All four candidates, who benefited from $397,000 worth of…
See also “DJ Khaled’s ‘I’m On One’: Five Reasons Why It Was 2011’s Most Miami-Tastic Music Video.” DJ Khaled keeps making hits and filling them out with his bestest friends. In fact, he’s turning ’em out so fast that we just got a two-for-one special. Maybe Khaled saved some cash…
In an effort to needlessly destroy as many trees as possible, Creed frontman Scott Stapp will release his memoir on October 2. The book, titled Sinner’s Creed, will be released in hardcover and ebook. But there are no current plans for an audiobook. This is most likely because the target…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke tackles the touchy subject of gun control.As a responsible gun owner, I am a staunch supporter of the…
Anyone who’s followed Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez to campaign events the past couple of months has probably noticed Rafael Garcia-Toledo — the guy chauffeuring hizzoner from one stop to another in a white Lincoln Navigator. In fact, he’ll be ferrying Gimenez around today from precinct to precinct. It’s a menial…
Things aren’t getting any easier for Chad Johnson. Of course, that’s what happens when you allegedly batter your wife.Following his arrest this weekend and subsequent dismissal from the Miami Dolphins, VH1 has announced it plans to pull the plug on Johnson’s upcoming reality show…
Who “Luv Dem Strippers”? Well, we here at Crossfade do. Ditto 2 Chainz and Nicki MInaj, whose new music video features enough bulbous, earthquakin’ ass to force a 12-year-old boy into puberty. “I Luv Dem Strippers” is a modern-day love song to the working girls of America. Plus, it features…
Today, Mitt Romney is forgoing a Miami political campaign tradition by skipping over Versailles restaurant in Little Havana. Instead, Mittens will hobnob with a convicted cocaine smuggler. The Republican presidential candidate is holding an afternoon rally at Palacio de los Jugos (7085 Coral Way), which is owned by Reinaldo Bermudez,…
Read “Carlos Gimenez Collects Half-A-Million Bucks In First Round of Fundraising” and “Carlos Gimenez Has Raised Nearly Twice As Much As Challenger Joe Martinez.”With one day left before the primary, we’re going to miss the proliferation of groups with cryptic, yet patriotic, monikers spreading misinformation, collecting bundles of cash and…
Read “Gerardo Silva Jr. Charged $2500 In Clothes And Electronics On His Medley Credit Card”and “Gerardo Silva Jr.’s 911 Call: ‘I am a Councilman!'”Medley Town Councilman Gerrado Silva Jr. has officially resigned. His last day was Aug. 8. But if you think Silva resigned because of all the embarrassing press…
