Paris Hilton must really love abuse, because she just signed a record deal with Cash Money to release her follow-up to 2006’s weird and critically-forgotten Paris. She plans to release a “house album.” And, like, nothing about a fluffy hip-hop label signing a talentless heiress to make EDM music sounds…
In the capital of medicare fraud, Miami therapist Paul Thomas Layman and his cohorts pulled off a doozy of a heist, stealing $63 million from the federal government through bogus mental health services. Now Layman will spend the next nine years in federal prison following his sentencing hearing yesterday. The…
So, you want to be an EDM superstar? It’s easy! EDM is blowing up like a 17-year-old girl in a tutu. Act fast, and you can catch some of that glorious LED spotlight for yourself! Not interested in long hours studying music theory, beat matching, or production equipment? Fuck it!…
Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke gives so,e advice to the world’s most popular golfer. It’s high time Tiger Woods stops putting up with the blatant racism…
It’s time for the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) to investigate North Miami native and sports agent Drew Rosenhaus. For too long, the league has looked the other way when it comes to Rosenhaus’ shady business tactics and questionable representation of his clients. Last week, Yahoo! Sports broke the latest scandal…
Sunshine State Cult An anti-cult message: People who join cults like Kashi Ashram (“Brainwashed,” Terrence McCoy, May 16) get what they deserve. It is Darwin’s Law of Evolution in action. CheckpointCharlie73 Weird Science Live in the real world: Luke is right to point out the inherent racism in Kiera Wilmot’s…
People became angry in Tampa recently when it was announced that the city’s Taco Fusion was serving lion meat. They also serve gazelle, kangaroo, ostrich, beaver, otter, and other animals, but it was the king of the jungle that awakened the public’s ire. In the face of much criticism, the…
Sometimes there are brands and products that are so well loved, they draw their own fan base and subculture. Take, for instance, Volvo owners, who push their cars until they’re ancient rust buckets in an attempt to get 500,000 or more miles out of them. Or, consider McRib lovers, who…
For amateur chefs, sushi might seem an insurmountable endeavor — like the perfect puffy cheese soufflé or meringue-wrapped baked Alaska. But surprisingly, it’s not as difficult as it might seem, and with a few simple tools, even the most bumbling of kitchen klutzes can pull off some tasty rolls. Trust…
Two years ago, Miami New Times was the first media outlet to report on a crew of scammers who swindled $2.4 million out of 15 real estate investors who believed they were getting sweetheart deals on foreclosed properties. The Miami-Dade Inspector General’s Office busted the delinquents last February. Now one…
At last week’s May 15 Homestead City Council meeting, Mayor Steve Bateman got testy with local business owner Michelle Pederson, prompting her husband Kevin to call hizzoner out. The back and forth occurred during the citizen’s comments portion of the council meeting after Homestead resident Mark Bell — hubby to…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says its time to investigate Drew Rosenhaus. It’s time for the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) to investigate North…
The First 48 follows local detectives during the first 48 hours after a murder, but there is growing criticism that the show gives Miami a bad name.
Listen up, fellas … Pick-up lines rarely work. Most of the time, they are lame, cliché, and straight-up ridiculous. That also means it takes a lot of courage (or several brewskies) to go up to an attractive lady at a bar and ask her if “it hurt when ya fell…
Donuts as buns: it’s been done. And while a nicely charred meat patty is pretty outstanding when pressed between Homer Simpson’s favorite all-American snack food, there’s another option that suits our Latin city even better. What’s that, you ask? A burger with a pastelitos on top and bottom. Yes, seriously…
The family that grew ganja together is now the family that pleaded guilty together. In the spring of last year, federal agents and Miami-Dade narcotics detectives dismantled a clan of marijuana growers that distributed thousands of pounds of high-grade weed from South Florida to New York City. Gilberto Santiesteban Jr.,…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
National magazine journalism may be coughing and gagging its last breaths, but public radio is giving print reporters hope. In an email to supporters late last night, WLRN-Miami Herald News Director Dan Grech announced the station is reopening its Americas Desk. Even better: The desk will be helmed by Tim…
In Bartow, Florida, public school and law enforcement officials are committing a horrible injustice against an exceptionally gifted African-American teenager. By all accounts, 16-year-old Kiera Wilmot is a model student. She has good grades and has a perfect behavior record. She’s not a kid who skips classes, fights her classmates…
Sins of the Father Survivors: If the tale of Gloria Hampton and Bernisa Davis, the Miami sisters who survived years of abuse from their father after he killed their mother (“Memories of Murder,” Michael E. Miller, May 9), isn’t a survival story in it’s truest form, I don’t know what…
As Miami-Dade County moves forward with its $12.6 billion plan to fix the aging water and sewer collection system, Federal Chief Judge Frederico Moreno yesterday awarded a significant victory to the Biscayne Bay Waterkeeper, an environmental group that claims the county proposal does not address sea-level rises and catastrophic storm…
John Raimondo is a bit player in the 1999 epic three-part Miami New Times series “Pain & Gain,” which blockbuster Hollywood director Michael Bay turned into a passion project that hit theaters over two weeks ago. Starring Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, the film recounts the absurd dark…
