I dunno. I guess I just want to gloat. It is 15 degrees below zero in Chicago right now. It’s -21 in my hometown of Minneapolis, Minnesota. New York is gonna be 9 degrees tonight. It’s 70 degrees at my house. Maybe I’ll take a dip in the pool…
Could you imagine getting all of your meals — breakfast, lunch, and dinner — from one eatery for an entire year? Well, Beautiful Existence (yes, her legal name) did just that. What restaurant did the Seattle woman choose? Starbucks, naturally. For each day in 2013, Existence ate all of her…
[Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Dear 2013, Oh, man. So you’re officially over. That’s kind of sad. You were mostly a very dope year — at least for me, anyway, and truth be told, that’s all…
At the Russell Athletic Bowl last weekend, Teddy Bridgewater and his University of Louisville teammates from Miami went on a riot. They looted the University of Miami football program they grew up rooting for and demolished it 36-9. Bridgewater and fellow Miamians Michaelee Harris, Eli Rodgers, John Miller, Charles Gaines,…
Bully BS Not funny: I can’t figure out who the writer of your year-in-review piece (“The Year of the Bully,” Michael E. Miller, December 26) is trying harder to be: Dave Barry or Hunter S. Thompson. This is worse than the crap we used to crank out at my college…
Do you hear that? It’s the sound of another year dissolving into yesterday. All your words, thoughts and actions of 2013 have been locked into place. We hope your regrets are few and your memories fond. Let’s have one more moment of silence for the past. Alright! Now, let’s look…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses why the U is no longer black Miami’s favorite college. At the Russell Athletic Bowl last weekend,…
Oh, New Year’s Eve … A time for reminiscing about the victories and failures of the past year, celebrating the fresh arrival of a new one, and, if you’re anything like the party animals at the Vagabond, getting piss drunk. It was the last Friday of 2013 and the downtown…
It’s that time of year again. You’re considering Crossfit and the Master Cleanse as part of your New Year’s resolution, and you’re certainly not alone. Miami’s food scene should be making promises, as well. The city could use a couple of things. Here are just five of ’em. See also:…
No Apologies Miami is the real city of brotherly love: Regarding Luther Campbell’s December 19 column, “Apologize Now,” about Miami leaders snubbing Nelson Mandela: I’m white and from the Northeast. It’s disgusting how openly racist people here in Miami are toward blacks. I don’t know if it’s a Latin American…
A lot of folks get upset over the things I write, but I call ’em like I see ’em based on facts. The Florida Press Club has cited the stuff I’ve come up with, so I know I’m pushing the right buttons sometimes. And judging by the ten most popular…
Most of the year, being a vegetarian (or vegan) is little more than a minor inconvenience. After all, you have complete control over what goes into your shopping cart, refrigerator and, inevitably, digestive system. But around the holidays, things get a little more complicated. When faced with potlucks, buffets and…
You win some, you lose some, and this year in music saw it all. There were some unexpected hits and some downright drown-outs. Some old favorites came back around, some tried and true experts continued their reign of glory, and some classic moves fell off the face of the planet…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke looks back on 2013’s best hits. A lot of folks get upset over the things I write, but…
Where all my ho ho hos at? Santa wants all the naughty girls and boys to drop it in his lap, because we’re celebrating the most ratchet Christmas that the streets have ever seen. What makes a ho ratchet? Well, she’s probably gold diggin’ in a messy weave, twerkin’ in…
No attitude. No cover. No bullshit. That’s been the motto at Purdy Lounge since the day the bar first opened its doors 13 years ago. Ever since, we’ve all come across the SoBe hotspot at one time or another, having started, ended, or ended up staying all night at 1811…
More any other big city in the nation — with the exception being New York — Miami is a town of two realities. Ours is a city that’s simultaneously inhabited by revelers who preside over clubs with table service and can afford $50,000 to see Tiesto on New Year’s Eve…
Miami is a volatile town. A restaurant might be ground-breaking and wonderful and exciting, but then it’ll close just a few months after opening. Others might stick around for years, competing against New York imports and shiny, big-pocket places until eventually losing ground. In 2013, the Magic City lost several…
It was just a few days ago that bloodthirsty North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un executed his uncle, who was a political rival. He has now whacked or dispatched with more than half the country’s 200 leaders since taking power in 2011. No worries. Miami weirdo and former NBA great Dennis…
As world leaders memorialized Nelson Mandela last week in Johannesburg, Miami media outlets — except New Times — have tried to put a positive spin on the snubbing of Madiba by Miami-Dade elected officials during his visit to the Magic City on June 24, 1990, shortly after his release from…
Cubadave: The Great and the Grimy It’s legal, dammit: I have several comments and questions about Allie Conti’s December 12 story, “Old Dogs, Young Tricks”: (1) What is the point of this article? Cubadave (and others) go to other countries to legally engage in fun, consensual sex with adult Latin…
[Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] This game is very simple: Look at the pictures and guess what Kanye West song each one represents. Boom. That’s it. That’s all. You’re done. That’s a little thing called respecting…
