David Beckham: Please Make Your Soccer Team as Miami as Hell

Close your eyes and consider the “Miami aesthetic.” You’re probably seeing a crazy screensaver-like melange of palm trees and flamingos floating by in a sea of unapologetically bright pastels. Perhaps the pink and teal of the Miami Vice logo are prominent. The geographic whimsy of Art Deco and Miami Modern…

Ranking the Miami Heat’s Free Agency Priorities

The Miami Heat have many questions entering NBA free agency, which begins Friday. Questions that, depending on how they are answered, could influence the paths the franchise takes for the next decade. The franchise is betting a lot on Pat Riley and his ability to once again pull a rabbit…

Everything You Need to Know About Miami Heat Free Agency

Hold onto your butts, Miami, because NBA Free Agency is here. This is the season after the season, where the NBA gods giveth and taketh away. What happens over the next two weeks is arguably more important than the season itself: thus, it’s officially time to start obsessing over who…

Kevin Durant Should Sign With Miami if He Wants to Win Titles

It’s officially whale hunting season for Pat Riley, and the biggest fish is on it’s way to the market. The Oklahoma City Thunder’s crushing collapse against the Golden State Warriors in the Western Conference Finals means Kevin Durant is now officially a few days into the offseason, and only a…

Bernie Sanders Should Join Donald Trump as His Vice President

The 2016 presidential race has been a crazy, unpredictable mess. Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are driving both Republican and Democratic party leaders insane. At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me to see this pair join forces. Sound crazy? A Trump-Sanders ticket is not that far-fetched. These guys have many…

Back Off, Miami Herald, Jacksonville Editor Says

Last Friday, Miami Herald columnist Fabiola Santiago took a petty, thoughtless swipe at Jacksonville, Florida’s largest city,  She said it has “crazy crime, traffic congestion, and infrastructure,” then added that it “tackles fears by legislating morality,” before concluding that the city “is going to have to grow up – and…

What the Miami Club Scene Can Learn From Berlin

Wake up in Berlin, Germany, on any given Sunday, check your weather app and the forecast reads: Dreary. You knew this, though. You taste it in your morning breath and smell it in the ashy air. Still, you get up and shower, put on your party pants, and stop by…

Five Ways the Miami Dolphins Improved This Offseason

Hey, remember the Miami Dolphins? The greatest football team? The one that takes the ball from goal-to-goal like no ones ever seen? The one that’s in the air, on the ground, and always in control? No? OK, how about the team that last won a playoff game when Ryan Tannehill…

How to Fix the Miami Heat This Offseason

Now that the Miami Heat’s body is cold, we can officially call it a season and get to work on what the team needs to do to come back even stronger next year. Not only does the NBA offseason feel like the shortest of any sport, but the offseason itself…

UM Football Star Mark Walton Should Be Exonerated in Fishy DUI Case

This past April 23, Mark Walton, a 19-year-old University of Miami running back, was arrested for drunk driving after he failed road sobriety and Breathalyzer tests. Miami Police may have targeted Walton, local media outlets report. The former Booker T. Washington High star is suspended indefinitely from playing for the…

Goran Dragic and Dwyane Wade Wrecked Toronto to Force Game 7

If there’s one thing your Miami Heat have proven this post-season, it’s that they die hard. And now, after Goran Dragic and Dwyane Wade combined their nut-stomping powers to lead the Heat to their 103-91 Game 6 win over the Toronto Raptors, they have a shot at making history on…

The Real Problem With Satire Like Hialeahwood

I always wondered why my hometown of Hialeah had such a bad reputation. Almost every one I’ve met outside of Florida that knows of the city talks shit about it — without ever having stepping foot in it. After watching what was la desgracia que fue the Hialeahwood video on YouTube,…