New Miami City Commission Fails First Green Test

Miami’s Planning Advisory Board member Paul Mann is calling out the city commission. This past December 17, commissioners Frank Carrollo, Marc Sarnoff and Francis Suarez signed off on a plan to convert vacant city-owned park land at NW 14th Ave and 61st Street into residential units.The property is next door…

MP3 of the Day: Kid Cudi’s “Day ‘N’ Nite,” Remixed by Parable

Whenever the web seems to have reached its peak of weirdness, the whole thing whirlpools into entirely new dimensions of the bizarre, revealing secret worlds where you can watch celebrity breakdowns streamed live, read first-round NBA draft picks suicide tweets, or even e-shop for shrunken human heads. One of the…

Does Great Food Make Us Unhappy?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released its long anticipated happiness ratings last week. The study, using data collected from 1.3 million people across the country over the past four years, found that the happiest folks tended to live in states with a high quality of life. No surprise…

On a Rainy Day, Two Killers’ South Beach Odyssey Is Remembered

The rent has skyrocketed eightfold. The onetime flophouse has been painted and transformed into pricey condos. A shabby sign that once read, “Vacancy — Lowest Rates — Beach Facilities — Always a Seabreeze,” has been replaced by a pretty picture peddling a $7 million residence. The beachside hotel where two…

Get Overheated With Your Morons of the Week

We’ve been hit with a cold front, and if you’re like Riptide, your office is about as cozy as a gulag right now. But that’s OK, because this week’s batch of morons has a MWQ (Moronic Wattage Quotient) powerful enough to heat a three-story building. Throw on a Christmas sweater…

Fire Union Threatens to Boot Chief Herminio Lorenzo

The incoming president of the county firefighters union, Dominick Barbera, is demonstrating a terrible lack of ethics in his personal feud with Miami-Dade Fire Rescue Chief Herminio Lorenzo. This past December 9, sent Lorenzo an audaciously snarky letter mocking the chief’s proposal to require all county firefighters to report traffic…

FFF: For Shellfish Lovers Only

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. “We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.””Well, tell me!” the man said.The policeman said, “We have some…

Kitchen Pranks: The Old Oven Knob In The Jello Trick

“You see this knob? It’s precious to a lineman, especially when it gets real busy, cause you’re struggling to turn everything on. They come right off see? One thing cooks will do just to mess with each other is steal em’, and hide em’. I remember being in a kitchen…

Letters from the issue of December 17, 2009

Study Up FMU is just fine: I am very familiar with Florida Memorial University, which was described in “Crime 101” (Gus Garcia-Roberts, December 10). I know wonderful things happen on campus, yet I never see news coverage. Is there a conspiracy to destroy the only black university in South Florida?…

Thank You for Your Paid Support

Recently dismissed ethics complaints against three lobbyists provide a glimpse into how developers will pay off so-called community activists to win support for their projects.In finding that zoning lawyers Juan Mayol, Joseph Goldstein, and Richard Perez did in fact register to lobby on behalf of their client Q2 — a group…

Taco Bell 79 Cent Crispy Potato Soft Taco Review

We once heard a comedian say all Mexican food was pretty much the same ingredients put together under different names. For example, what are nachos? Umm, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, tortillas, meat, salsa. And what are tacos? Umm, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, tortillas, meat, salsa. And what are enchiladas, burritos,…

Heat Girlfriends Pull Out of VH1 Reality Show

Seems like two life partners of Miami Heat players won’t be joining the ranks of Jose Canseco, Flava Flav, that guy who killed his girlfriend, New York, and various people with porny pasts in the pantheon of VH1 Reality shows after all. When VH1 and Shaunie O’Neal, Shaq’s wife announced plans…