Opinion & Commentary

Letters from the issue of July 1, 2010

World-renowned DJ Mick Boogie has built a stable collection and archive of past mixtapes that comes second to none. Always taking the road less traveled, it seems, Ohio-born Boogie definitely comes up with great concepts and themes for his own mixtapes.Enter two of the most anticipated rap releases of the summer. Big…

The 55-year-old brother of former Miccosukee Indian Chairman Billy Cypress is pleading guilty to two counts of DUI manslaughter. On February 19 of last year, Thomas Cypress was behind the wheel of his truck on Tamiami Trail when he swerved into oncoming traffic and had a head-on collision with a…

So an Orthodox Jew foot doctor walks into a houseful of cameras… Uh, yeah, Andrew Gordon of Miami Beach will be a contestant in CBS’s long-running Big Brother summer series. He’s so dedicated to his religion that he’ll be observing Shabbat while in the house. That means he somehow won’t…

MTV has released the official trailer for the upcoming Miami-set season of Jersey Shore. We’re about to bear witness to the atrocities that were committed in our city by the only people in the world who actually make our natives seem pale in comparison. In true guido style, it contains…

*Miami Spice is gearing up for another run. As always, there will be restaurants where the Spice price represents real value, and restaurants where you’d be better off dining à la carte. It will run from August 1 through the end of September, and tickets have just gone on sale…

It’s been a little more than a year since North Miami Beach residents accused Mayor Myron Rosner of abusing his official position to sidestep the city’s zoning and building regulations when he added a room and a pool to his residence and made other home improvements.It looks like Rosner will…

Last time we spoke to Askultura they were telling us about their new EP, You Stank, We Skank. Well, now the band is ready to release it, and in case you’ve never heard their music we’ve got their track “Domestic Insecurities” here for you to listen to after the jump.Askultura’s…

Swazy Styles is one of the more polarizing figures coming out of the local rap scene right now. People either love or really hate his song “Birthday Suit,” a shameless party-rocker which hinges on a sample from the Tetris theme song, of all things. This is a song aimed squarely at females…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke discusses Al Gore’s sex scandal and his pending divorce from wife Tipper.I want to congratulate former Vice…

Hemlock was a Miami disco band in the late ’70s that had a hit dance single called “Disco Break.” It got them a 12-inch record pressed by Warner Bros., and a soundtrack credit on a teen comedy called Swap Meet. We found Hemlock on YouTube in a video uploaded earlier today…

Oh, boy. This is gonna be fun.The Short Order bloggers decided it’s high time we gave the slapdown to some Miami eateries that charge too much, serve bland eats, pay more attention to their decor than the diners, and generally put a bad taste in our mouths, literally and figuratively…

A real-life episode of Burn Notice essentially played out this weekend at a Miami Beach hotel, complete with a mysterious shooting death, a hastily evacuated foreign head of state, a deathly bad odor, and a hazmat team.It’s not clear whether Bruce Campbell was involved — but frankly, we’re not ready…

Every once in awhile Mother Nature fucks up real bad and rolls a poor three-faced freak off the reproductive assembly line. We’ve all seen kittens and piglets and even human babies with five eyes, two and a half mouths, and one kaleidoscopically malformed nose. Back in the dark ages, these…

Put on your moon walkin’ shoes and remind everyone that Billie Jean was not your lover: Michael Jackson passed away from cardiac arrest exactly one year ago today. The King of Pop’s untimely death was greeted by a global outpour from fans, as everyone grieved and tried to find their…

Andrea Curto-Randazzo, who with husband Frank forms the chef/ownership team of Talula, mentioned in an interview published over the weekend that they are trying to sell their South Beach restaurant. We’re sorry, if not surprised, to hear the news, and thought we’d try to help the culinary couple by seeing if…

Valholla Entertainment continues its fight for dominance with a strong team of artists who are all poised to make their mark in the industry soon enough. To name a couple, there’s R&B artist Kirby Maurier, and hip-hop artist Phatz (who we’ve featured a few times already). But now there’s also Ramzez, who’s…

Self-titled EP (Smooth Lips Records)myspace.com/nobuhjest As cool and casual as it might be to sit here and make and odd and/or end out of the whole post – punk, post – hardcore, post – post – post – whatever debacle, I feel like I’ve been beating off into the frappe blender…

Banana Republican has a sneaking suspicion that Jenny Nillo is a ringer in an important state Senate race. Nillo is a former legislative aide to state Sen. Alex Diaz de la Portilla, who can’t run again because of term limits. Since last year, Alex’s brother Miguel has been locked in…

Naked on bikes for the BP spill

Letters from the issue of June 24, 2010

Uncle Luke talks sex at the strip club