Last week’s local YouTube sensation was a marimbero who took it upon himself to reinterpret a couple of choice musical numbers, including a video by ’90s alt-rock retreads Live. The lively running commentary features gags on arrebatos, primos who don’t shut up, and the headache after a good party –…
As the sun sets tonight, Passover begins. It’s interesting to note that on the eve of this holiday, I found a box of pictures that I didn’t even know I had. In it were snapshots of my grandparents, long since passed, dressed to the nines in Miami Beach and New…
North Bay Village’s mayor has a homestead problem. While claiming to reside in the small three-island city, Corina Esquijarosa has been receiving a $25,000 homestead exemption on an apartment she rents out to a man named Osmary Ramos. In order to get the tax break, Esquijarosa is required to live…
Lady Gaga doesn’t dress like the rest of us. For example, sometimes you’re putting on a polo and you look down and think, I look like a douche, so you replace it with a Sonic Youth t-shirt. Or you put on shorts and then realize your ass cheeks are partially…
About two dozen Haitian Americans protested new deportations of alleged criminals outside the immigration building on Northwest Seventh Avenue this morning. Authorities had suspended the flights for more than a month after a 34-year-old Haitian American man with only minor crimes on his record had died days after arriving on…
Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina’s political campaign contributed $350 to the Luis Posada Carilles defense fund. Last Friday, the 83-year-old Cuban American and ex-CIA operative was acquitted by an El Paso jury of 11 federal charges. He was accused of lying to federal agents about his alleged involvement in a string…
The Antiques Simply Antique (Funny Records) The Antiques’ website I am not going to sit here and claim to know every goddamned thing about Florida’s proud musical tradition. A good case in point was one of the earliest Blast From the Past columns that I performed for these digital pages…
We’ve been seeing a lot of former North Miami mayor Kevin Burns in the news lately. Last week, he appeared on a WPLG news segment complaining about parking meters in downtown Miami. Burns told the reporter that he had been gypped out of $7 because he didn’t realize he had…
Letters from the issue of April 14, 2011
Alex Penelas: Mayoral loser
Yum. Look at that plump, juicy… sofa?You might be familiar with pica — the disorder that leads people to eat stuff like soap, chalk, batteries, coins, hair, and dirt — from watching the show My Strange Addiction on TLC. According to some experts, the disorder is caused by a lack of certain…
We’re gonna go ahead and take credit for James Cason’s victory in Coral Gables yesterday. Voters in the City Beautiful made the former state department official their mayor. He beat incumbent Don Slesnick and local attorney Thomas Korge. Despite a last-minute flyer declaring him a carpetbagger with a felon for…
We here at Crossfade generally consider ourselves to be gentle, caring individuals with boundless love for our fellow human creatures. So why is it that we find other people’s pain so fucking funny? Especially celebrity pain? Honestly, it’s sick. And right now, we can’t stop crapping our pants over this…
Luther Campbell is in the mayor’s race. Now he just needs to settle on a campaign slogan. The high school football assistant coach and Miami New Times columnist was officially accepted by the Miami-Dade Elections Department as a candidate for county mayor. Campbell joins a field that includes former county…
Today, voters in Coral Gables will either give Don Slesnick a third term or elect a new mayor. Two city commission seats are also up for grabs in a city election that has seen all the candidates raise close to one million dollars combined.And unlike previous election seasons, this cycle…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez — explains why a rerun…
Hey, little monsters. Crossfade knows you want to look superfierce for Wednesday’s Lady Gaga concert at the American Airlines Arena. But there are still a few guidelines that you’ll have to carefully follow if your fabulously freaky ensemble’s gonna be up to code.In fact, arena management has posted a warning…
Here at Short Order, our collectively beady eyes are always on the lookout for delectable plates of food that do not require a ransom to acquire. On the one hand, there are more than five such deals; on the other, there aren’t as many as one might think. Here’s a…
As the tax season draws to a close this week, some of our more recognizable citizens are probably wondering if Uncle Sam will catch them cheating on their taxes again. Take Lil Wayne, who was just popped by the Internal Revenue Service for not paying his fair share in 2008…
This past Wednesday night, a couple dozen Miami-Dade voters gathered inside a back dining room of Town Kitchen & Bar in South Miami to hear New Times columnist Luther Campbell, county Commissioner Carlos Gimenez, and former state Rep. Marcelo Llorente talk about their platforms for Miami-Dade mayor.It was an intimate…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series…
Admittedly, dear readers, I’ve never been the savviest of hip-hop scribes. Nah, it would be a sham to claim so. I was born out of my father’s Bossa Nova and my mother’s disco. I smashed my head on the punk rock and tempered it with metal. Music is love. A…
