Strippers Edition: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Exotic Dancers

Some things are so good they should not be f*cked with: Starsky and Hutch, rum and Coke, mugshots and Fridays.But rules are made to be broken, especially random-ass Riptide rules. So we present you with a special midweek, Gulf Coast edition of Mugshots Friday Tuesday.Today’s version is devoted entirely to…

German Fruit Bread: Not a Vegan Brownie, That’s For Sure

Welcome to Short Order Show & Tell, where one of us brings a local delicacy to our weekly staff meeting, and we all weigh in on its deliciousness.Today’s experiment was German Fruit Bread from Crackerman Crackers in Bay Harbor Islands. The tasting started out well enough, except for one thing…

Free Music: South Florida Spitter J’lynn’s “To the Top”

From Brooklyn to the Sunshine State, rapper J’lynn Irving, who simply goes by J’lynn, splits his time between New York City and the South Florida suburbs. Three years ago, J’lynn moved to SoFla with his mom and started working on his rap career. Influenced by fellow New Yorkers like Jay-Z,…

No Sex on the Nude Beach

Richard Mason, president of South Florida Free Beaches, has a message for you: No sex on the nude beach!”The 78 year old, who helped start the nude beach at the north end of Haulover Park 20 years ago, called to complain about our recent story that said the facility was…

Jay-Z Is King of the Hip-Hop Throne

Luther “Luke” Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke declares the best MCs in hip-hop.After listening to the new Jay-Z and Kanye West album, Watch the…

Marc Sarnoff’s Propane-Huffing Antagonist

Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff has a new tormentor. He is Reid Welch, a 57-year-old Coconut Grove resident who eradicates Sarnoff campaign signs from the neighborhood when he is not huffing noxious fumes.”I inhale propane gas to get high, but I am not the least bit nutty,” Welch insists. “I asked…

Mugshots Friday: Celebrity Look-Alike Edition

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Sally Heyman Wants Control Over Miami Herald Headquarters Casino Plan

​A Malaysian gambling conglomerate’s plans to convert the Miami Herald headquarters and surrounding properties into a luxury resort casino has prompted one county commissioner to seek more control over redevelopment of the Omni neighborhood.Under a proposal by Sally Heyman, one of the 13 county commissioners would become a member of…

Paris Hilton Announces Plans to Become the “Queen of House Music”

Crossfade’s Google Alerts are incredibly random. This morning, sandwiched between Gloria Estefan and Rick Ross, an alert that read, “Paris Hilton Training to Become Most Powerful House DJ Ever!!!” sent chills down our spine. Evidently, the former sex tape reality vixen is a beat freak, and she’s “pretty tight” with…

Ten Totally Tubular ’80s Cartoon Theme Songs

For any kid who grew up in the ’80s, it wasn’t about the content of character. It was about the size of Transformer. After school and Saturday mornings, masses of children spent hour after hour parked in front of turn-knob television screens, adjusting rabbit ears, dying to hear the first…