Letters from the Issue of October 26, 2006

Woof! Woof! Maybe it wasn’t covered in the CliffsNotes: Regarding Daniel Renzi’s review of the GableStage production of Fahrenheit 451, “Burn, Baby, Burn” (October 19): I’m afraid Mr. Renzi hasn’t read Fahrenheit 451 the novel. If he had, he would have known that the Mechanical Hound (which his review calls…

Penniless Purgatory

It was midday-hot in the tony neighborhood just north of Miami’s Design District this past June 22 when as many as twenty snipers took aim with high-power rifles. A deep male voice shouted, “Get down to the ground!” Minerva Vasquez hit the dirt. She pressed close to her doe-eyed, seven-year-old…

Role Bounce

Stacy Provines is that rarest of all human specimens, a true brown-eyed blond. The 30-year-old native Miamian is also a makeup fiend and an inventor, which serves her well in her current job as CEO and chemist-in-chief of ten-year-old Tinte Cosmetics. Provines’s soon-to-be explosively popular line of eye shadows and…

Letters from the Issue of October 19, 2006

Minister/Judge No conflict there, huh? Regarding Trevor Aaronson’s “Religious Conviction” (October 12): I am a former altar boy, and I graduated from Holy Cross College in 1969. When Judge Jose E. Martinez justified the attempted forced perjury by the Archdiocese of Miami, he obviously forgot one of the Ten Commandments:…

Insolence Ointment

Robert Burr is an affable, silver-haired Coral Gables guide-book publisher, deep-ocean diver, and all-around raconteur who leads the popular monthly “wine walks” along Miracle Mile. He also has a nascent interest in (discussing, not drinking) other types of alcohol. So he recently decided to extend his roving lecture series to…

Letters from the Issue of October 12, 2006

Don’t Trust the Commies They don’t respect corpses: In reference to Carlos Suarez De Jesus’s article “Body Count” (October 5): It’s great to learn that Premier Exhibitions has been assured by the Chinese that the bodies were legally obtained, but what does this assurance mean? China is a dictatorship, a…

Letters from the Issue of October 5, 2006

Not Like La Gloria That’s impossible: Regarding Lee Klein’s “Chino-Latino No Go” (September 21): It is obvious that Mr. Klein has an ax to grind with the Estefans. His review of Oriente was one-sided and biased. I am a weekly customer of the restaurant and find the food quite delightful…

Letters from the Issue of September 28, 2006

Blight Take Flight She’s our problem now: Regarding the story “Blight Flight” (September 14) by Rob Jordan: I have worked on urban revitalization for more than twenty years. Having worked with Lisa Mazique for more than seven years, I was surprised to learn Miami had hired her as the new…

Nonapparent Servitude

Maitre d’: Your usual table, Mr. Christopher? Carlo Christopher: No, I’d like a good one this time. Maitre d’: I’m sorry. That is impossible. Christopher: Part of the new cruelty? Maitre d’: I’m afraid so. — L.A. Story, 1991 The delays have been so delicious, the denials so cruel, the…

Megamedia Mangler

Clad in a starched blue shirt and a red power tie, with black headphones sandwiching his handsome pate, the candidate adroitly parried the DJ’s questions. Democratic Congressional hopeful Ron Klein had braved more than an hour of predawn traffic to arrive at the spartan radio studio. The jock was disarming…

Lyre Lyre

When The Bitch was a puppy, she spent hours listening to ad hoc lectures about the ancient world by her trusted advisor Sheramy Bundrick, an art history professor at the University of South Florida and former antiquities curator for the Metropolitan Museum in New York City. One of Bundrick’s areas…

Letters from the Issue of September 21, 2006

Blind Free Weekly Open your eyes, Judy Miller: The moralizing trash-fest, “Blind Date,” (September 14) demonstrates once more that those who complain New Times is a sophomoric rag aimed at the prurient rather than the journalistic or, heaven forbid, the intellectually curious might just be correct. In the article, reporter…

Letters from the Issue of September 14, 2006

Boobner Speaks And he thinks we are sensationalistic? I have had the opportunity to read the article that Josh Schonwald did in the August 31, 2006 edition of Miami New Times, “These Could Be Yours.” I was most upset with the misrepresentations in the article. When Schonwald first asked me…

Ampersand & More

This summer has seen the quiet launch of two niche magazines in the Magic City’s jumble of glossies, trades, and rags. When Indi Live Mag editor in chief Danielle Romero says her online bi-monthly publication is small, she isn’t kidding. Aside from Romero, who does all the writing, only three…

Letters from the Issue of September 7, 2006

Get Off Here Exit 13 finally grabs the spotlight: Thank you for Abel Folgar’s recent review of Exit 13 (Live Wire, August 17). I have been attending the band’s shows for two years now, and it is nice to see local media noticing our hard-working indie musicians here in South…

Letters from the Issue of August 31, 2006

Love and Complaint This film rocked: Regarding Frank Houston’s “Cine Havana” (August 17): I loved the movie. It captured the tempo and beauty of the real Cuba. What I found in Love & Suicide is what I would want to experience on a trip to Cuba — the pain of…

Dress to Dis

It’s nearly 1:00 a.m., and the Sunday-night party at Pearl (1 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach) is only just beginning. Pretty young blond women escorted by older men in suits or white half-buttoned shirts line a wall fitted with a fish tanklike contraption filled with champagne, bubbles racing to the top…

Whisper Campaign

There are two things going on in gossipland that demand no further deconstruction. But since readers and tipsters actually asked for a Bitch investigation, here are her typically biased, predictably delusional conclusions. Into our most permissively louche South Florida social world, amid a pack of what passes for society columnists…

Glass House

Alli — a petite, dark-haired 27-year-old sales rep from Kendall — is in a convivial spirit tonight at Glass (432 Arthur Godfrey Rd., Miami Beach). The newly renovated club is an offshoot of The Forge, Miami Beach’s 37-year-old house of drippy decadence, world-class cuisine, and immoderate imbibing. Previously Jimmy’z, this…

Lowest Forms

This past April, The Bitch was at a party (of course) where she met a pleasant, nattily dressed human male named Jim Konschnik. Despite the festive atmosphere at D’Vino in Coral Gables, Konschnik seemed quite subdued, and he relayed how difficult it was for him to unplug, even for a…

Letters from the Issue of August 24, 2006

The Key to Magic We got the answer: Great article by Josh Schonwald, “Metal Magic” (August 17)! Well written and some really great phraseology. Does Trixx do corporate shows? How does one track him down short of looking for a battered single-wide in the Middle Keys? Pete Foley Atlanta, Georgia…

Letters from the Issue of August 17, 2006

Who’s a Ho? Children’s books aren’t the issue: Regarding Rob Jordan’s story “Commie Book Ban” (August 10): Being the son of an ex-political prisoner of Cuba, I find this to be a sad political game and media whoring on behalf of Cubans who care less about Cuba being free and…