You can spot her at dawn — a rumpled remnant of a woman making the long, teetering trek down Michigan or Meridian or Collins. She sports raccoon eyes, lacks an earring, and walks in stilettos as if they were six-foot stilts. She emits an unidentifiable stench. Maybe it’s Doritos, cigarettes,…
To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here. What I would like to talk about this week is the new anti-tethering law that passed Miami-Dade County in March. Here’s the ordinance exactly how it’s stated: it “bans tethering or chaining of a dog unless the owner is…
Religion in a courthouse? Sounds like the Taliban, right? Or maybe the Inquisition? Hell no, it’s just Miami — a part of America where we don’t seem to separate church and state. A new group, the Miami Catholic Lawyers Guild, is inviting the public to a mass Thursday by Miami…
For nine years, Frank Pintado, as the operations manager of Standard Parking’s Miami Beach operations, lorded over the city’s public garages and several lots. The deal was worth $3 million a year to the publicly traded company. But that all came to an end last year when the city commission voted…
Does reality television even try anymore? Let’s see. Kim Kardashian got famous for being Paris Hilton’s temporary Nicole Richie replacement, and then for her gross sex tape with Brandy’s little brother. Most normal families would probably disown their daughter for at least a year or so after this, but for…
Last time we checked in with Make Me a Supermodel, it was to tell you that local “freelance model” Laury Prudent was part of the cast. I think MMAS is one of those shows you tune in to once in a while because there’s some contestant you fancy, but since America’s…
Coming in November, the City of Miami’s public access channel will try its hand at some new, innovative programming to get residents amped up about the Magic City’s elected officials. It’s a variety show based loosely on the popular television series Dancing with the Stars. And the first contestants are commissioners…
Eat the Rich Sick of bailouts: Thanks for the great reporting in “The Fall of a Titan” (Tim Elfrink, April 9). The execs at Stanford, the politicians involved, and the SEC people involved should all go to jail, where they will be safe from the public. It’s time for the…
The Florida Marlins now have the best record in baseball and lead their division. New speedster Emilio Bonifacio just might be the hottest player in baseball. And that giant Chris Volstad has made us forget Scott Olson. Could it be this team is for real? Yesterday’s 5-1 defeat over the…
Miami Social, a weekly documentary about just how hard it is to be rich, tan, buff, and connected in the third world country of Miami Beach seems to finally be making its way to Bravo’s airwaves, despite some gossip suggesting otherwise. It took a long time to get there though…
Miami! My Miami! I missed you so much. I missed you like the deserts miss the rain. No, I miss you more than that; the desert has no idea that it’s missing the rain. On my trip to America, I started getting worried. Especially, when I left you alone for…
Naked Politics reports that out of all candidates for the state house, Jose “Pepi” Diaz has raised the most money so far. Which is not only shocking because Diaz is not an incumbent, but also because he’s a reality TV show wash out. Diaz appeared on Season 5 of Donald…
I don’t really know who the James’s are but I DO know that Die Stinkin’ is one of my favourite South Florida bands of all times. I love their classic tracks like “Beer,” “Blood on the Sheets,” “Baby I Love Dope,” and their version of “Again and Again.” And they…
With millions of dollars at stake, two private marina operators are duking it out to win a Miami-Dade County contract to build and manage a dry dock boat storage facility at Matheson Hammock Park in Coral Gables. Earlier this year, an evaluation committee of Miami-Dade County employees selected Aventura-based Aqua…
Sunken Treasure Tell him something he doesn’t know: Gus Garcia Roberts’s April 2 story, “Treasure Island,” is old news. I tried telling everyone, including New Times and government officials, about this problem years ago when I was the powerless third member of the Grandview Palace Board of Directors mentioned in…
To read past installments of South Florida According to Brooklyn, click here.What I would like to talk about this week is what I’ve realized more recently is the coolest thing about music: the fact that it keeps changing and evolving. It’s funny because whatever each generation comes up with, the…
Inside a stuffy, overcrowded Miami-Dade misdemeanor court, a 13-year-old boy clad in an orange jumpsuit watches in awe as his lawyer artfully demands that the judge toss evidence the prosecution has against the teenager. On most days, Ben Reiss of the prestigious Greenberg Traurig firm defends commercial companies in cases…
Besides seriously rocking the fuck out, directly channeling an imaginary bastard love child of Kimya Dawson and Bob Stinson, and having the best ass and the prettiest face in the club, respectively, Maggie and Aaron also have the funniest, harshest and most deliciously cynical blog in our shitty little awesome…
To read past installments of South Florida According to Brooklyn, click here. What I’d like to talk about today is an event I went to last week at the Bank of America tower downtown in honor of Earth Hour 2009. A friend of mine was working the event, and called…
Juan Carlos Zapata, a state representative from the Kendall area, is gunning for Miami-Dade County Commissioner Joe Martinez’s job. The legislator is going to be termed out of office in 2010, so he’s laying the groundwork for a run at Martinez’s seat in 2012. Already, the first Colombian-American elected to the…
It’s probably safe to add “shipping military aircraft parts to Iran” to your running list of “Bad Business Plans.”Traian Bujduveanu, a Romanian citizen living in Plantation, learned that the hard way, pleading guilty in downtown Miami federal court today of plotting to ship sensitive military parts to Iran, the U.S…
This Little Piggy Pays your taxes: Gus Garcia-Roberts’s March 26 feature story, “Pork Pirates,” misses the point about people on farms who raise pigs, cows, and other animals. They need to make money in order to support themselves and their families. If the writer enjoyed the barbecue pig, he should…
