When Internal Affairs Gets Too Cozy

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement recently ended an investigation into the onetime commander of the Miami-Dade Police Department’s internal affairs unit, concluding Donald Rifkin was hoping to get laid by talking to county cop Carmen Pichardo about sensitive information in the internal affairs case against her. Department rules forbid…

Hugo Chavez Stinks, but Rafael Correa…Not

Today’s Hugo Chavez’s tenth anniverary in power. He’s messed with everybody’s brains since taking the oath of office — and he has brought a voice to a lotta poor Venezuelans, many of whom have come to Miami. But this caudillo ain’t slick. He’s lucky. Oil revenues have soared to the…

The Week That Was: This Sort of Thing Ain’t Our Bag, Baby

Karl Rove in the flesh got some UM co-eds very excited. The possibility of spectators in nothing but flesh was the death nail in the coffin of the Lingerie Bowl. Meanwhile, fleshy, nudist tourists are an important part of our economy. On the Dem side, Tampa’s Mayor might run for Senate,…

Jeff McInnis Says Bravo Used Him As A “Sex Object”

You just couldn’t let it go Jeff? After getting kicked off of Top Chef this week, DiLido Beach Club chef Jeff McInnis spoke to People magazine about how he feels that Bravo used him a “sex object” for the show.Reality check McInnis, there is only one sex object on Top…

Notorious Stabbing and Big-Time Brawl at Aventura Movie Theater

Diamond Nicole Bell didn’t see it coming. On the evening of January 16, she and four friends went to see Notorious at the Aventura AMC Theatre.After they sat down, some of her buddies headed for the concession stand while Diamond, 20, stayed behind to hold their places. Two Hispanic women,…

Hot Ceviche Confuses Top Chef’s Jeff McInnis

ZOMG, ya’ll! Did you watch last night’s Super Bowl edition of Top Chef? Poor Jeff McInnis got the boot. We feel for him. The chef from the DiLido Beach Club at the Ritz-Carlton South Beach couldn’t wrap his head around why the judges preferred season 2’s Josie Smith-Malave’s warm ceviche…

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? Why I Sold You Out, Bro

You sold me out, bro!  What the hell? What happened? I’ll tell you what happened: I got an e-mail from some dude from the New York Times. He said he was in Miami to cover some sort of terrible crime spree, complete with beheadings. He wanted to write about something…

Sandra Boyd IDs the Dead

In the bowels of a boxy concrete monolith northwest of downtown Miami sits cooler number five. Use all of your weight to slide open the heavy polished metal door and a stench storms out. It belts you backward, pummels your senses, and makes you dizzy. It stings your eyes. It’s…

Letters from the Issue of January 29, 2009

Hustlin’ for the Lord Not so holy: I found Gus Garcia-Robert’s January 22 article “Holy Hustler” very interesting. I have to say, though, that I don’t see Pastor Vincent Spann doing God’s work. To some extent, he’s helping some people, but he’s definitely not keeping his word. Not paying his…

Twelve Hours at Mac’s Club Deuce

In 1963, the owner of a four-decade-old South Beach dive called Club Deuce — Harold Schwartz — died. The same hour, Mac Klein’s daughter Zina was born in Miami Beach’s Mount Sinai Hospital. “Everything happens for a reason,” Klein says. He bought the club a few days later. Today its…

This is How We Do in the XM2

Menudo has gone through more teenage boys than Sam Adams and Mark Foley combined, but what ever becomes of them once their days of Puerto Rican pop success subsides? Why, they try to get more of that sweet, sweet Puerto Rican pop success, of course. Two members of the band’s…

Airport Director Sets Record Straight

Yesterday, I blogged about Secure Wrap of Miami’s eight year lock on a Miami International Airport contract to wrap travelers’ luggage in a cellophane-type material to deter theft of personal items. The post was based on a recent report by the county’s inspector general criticizing the Miami-Dade Aviation Department for…

Secure No More?

Turns out Miami International Airport bureaucrats aren’t so lazy, just a bit slow at fostering competition. Earlier today, I wrote about the Miami-Dade Aviation Department’s reluctance to competitively bid the baggage-wrapping concession operated by Secure Wrap of Miami, which has held on to the lucrative business for more than eight…

Amazingly, This Race Show Has Gone on 14 Seasons

There have been 14 seasons of The Amazing Race? That is just, kind of, amazing, because I’ve never watched more than five seconds of it at a time. Also, consider that unlike so many other reality shows, The Race has never really contributed a catch phrase or pseudo-celebrity to the…

Throwback Tuesdays: John Cougar – “Miami”

Here’s a great video I found by none other than John Cougar before he added that stupid Mellencamp and ruined everything. This video pioneers the South – Beach – music – video genre and exceeds the quality of almost everything that came after it. Here are the lyrics to the…

Secure Monopoly

Owing to the laziness of Transportation Security Administration and Miami-Dade County Aviation Department bureacrats, a company with a lucrative venture at Miami International Airport won’t be getting any competition anytime soon. For the past eight years, Secure Wrap of Miami has held the exclusive rights to wrap luggage in a …

Dennis Moss Picks Committee Chairs

Dennis Moss is done putting together the new make-up of the county commission’s committees and I’m impressed with most of his selections. In case you don’t know, the commissioners use the committee system to hammer out decisions that ultimately impact our tax dollars, from formulating new ways to tax us…

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? Bros Vs. Rockers

The events that happen in childhood shape us, haunt us and turn us into the men and women that will lead the world. It’s sociological science fact. When I borrowed a taped copy of Appetite for Destruction from Enrique Fernandez at age nine, I had no idea that 2 Live…

Diary of an Overtown Pimp, Part 2

In a second entry of the handwritten autobiography he recently wrote in jail, Overtown hustler Big Red talks about an unusual robbery for which he received six years in state prison. He leaves out names and some important details, but offers a peek at a different side of Miami street…

Charlie Pickett & The Eggs Buy Heroin From Overtown

      As long as we’re talkin about Charlie Pickett getting his due, here’s one of the reasons why, this video for the song “Overtown” written by Dave Froshneider and performed by “Charlie Pickett and The Eggs” is some real pioneer shit. Now, I’ll admit it, I hadn’t ever heard of…