If you think writing a good catchy jingle is easy, think again, young grasshopper. For every “You Deserve a Break Today” and “I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner,” there are dozens of cringe-worthy losers. They are the musical equivalent of road kill, but still demand attention. Then, like…
Lagniappe is a Big Easy-style beer-and-wine bar/restaurant/live music venue. Although it may sound like a lot of things, Lagniappe is also resoundingly uncomplicated. At the Midtown bar, which opened late last year, there are no waiters. There are no menus, no silverware, no china, and no cloth napkins. Lagniappe, rather,…
Last week, Banana Republican warned readers about a private parking lot on 17th Street and Lennox Avenue on Miami Beach masquerading as a public lot. It’s even equipped with a meter that is identical to the ones used by the City of Miami Beach for street parking and public lots.Except…
Florida lawmakers need to roll up a fat joint to celebrate 4/20 and chill out. While Republican legislators move full speed ahead to ban the sale of bongs and glass pipes, they ignore a measure to legalize medical marijuana. These guys must think we’re still living in 1936, the year…
Reader Mail: South Beach Tow Companies Are the Biggest Scam on Earth
Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Jorge E. Cueto should have known better. On Tuesday, he angrily removed himself from a civil case challenging Miami Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones’ third run for office. After ruling in favor of her opponent, Rev. Richard Dunn, that she could not run again, local media outlets reported that…
Let’s face it, hip-hop is pretty stupid. Not, like, inherently. Because it used to be about self-reflection, empowerment, and fun. Now, though, the mainstream rap community’s message can be boiled down to a handful of misguided concepts, spewed and propagated by lying hacks. There’s almost nothing enlightening about radio-friendly rap…
Uncle Luke, the man who made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says its time to legalize medical marijuana.Florida lawmakers need to roll up a fat joint and chill out. While the…
The nutritional content of children’s food at restaurants should be government-regulated. As I’ve said before, I believe there’s no need to give in to “your whiny brat’s tirade.” The National Restaurant Association’s Kids LiveWell menu standards, a voluntary initiative, recommends meals for children have 600 calories or fewer, get 35…
The explosion at the Boston Marathon rippled throughout the country Monday night. Horrible pictures affected anyone like me who had ever run a marathon. Lots of South Florida runners were affected. A couple of examples: The New Yorker is quoting Ken Bereski, from Miami, who had just finished his 12th…
Back in February, Banana Republican tackled the thorniest, hot-button political issue of the moment: banning assault rifles. Even though I took an objective approach to the subject, a majority of comments in response to the cover story were full of invective and sabre rattling from gun enthusiasts from around the…
In the lakeside tourist city of Granada, Nicaragua, visitors strolling along La Calle Libertad come upon a blue Colonial-style building with a small sign reading, “Salon La Libertad.” On a recent afternoon, a slim Cuban-American woman with short blond hair and intense blue eyes chats on her cell phone inside…
Rutgers Scandal Shows NCAA’s Slave Mentality
Reader Mail: EDM’s Drug Fetish Needs to End
For weeks, the Miami Dolphins have been promising that the team won’t move forward with the $390 million renovation of Sun Life Stadium if the NFL doesn’t award the city a Super Bowl in 2015 or 2016. Well, the Dolphins caught a break.A couple of hours ago, during deliberations by…
305 Pride is not just another perfunctory saying any comemierda can go around claiming with no regard for what it stands for. It is something that is demonstrated through actions, not words. Whether you do things to help unite our community or publicly come to its defense when some comepinga…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes in on the NCAA’s plantation blueprint.The scandal at Rutgers University, where basketball coach Mike Rice was fired…
There’s a new twist to the ol’ South Beach towing racket. At 17th Street and Lennox Avenue, just north of Lincoln Road, there’s a parking lot that looks identical to scores of other nearby city-run lots. To pay, there’s an electronic meter, just like all the city meters scattered around.But…
As distressed as our economy is, the United States continues to spend about $1.4 billion per year on sending food aid to other countries.President Obama is proposing a major change to the foreign food aid program that could greatly impact Florida, which ranks seventh in the nation in food exports.As…
When it comes to war-mongering, President Barack Obama has at times put his predecessor, George W. Bush, to shame. Consider the commander-in-chief’s cold-hearted use of unmanned drones to fight America’s war on terror. He’s launched more than five times as many drone strikes than Bush did, according to the Seattle…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Whether you like it or not, dance music runs the world and therefore the cultural lexicon. We’re going to go ahead and say that’s a bad thing. Our hashtag-driven, buzz-worthy reality is giving us a headache, mostly because you dancing assholes can’t stop saying the same shit over and over…
