Turns out Miami International Airport bureaucrats aren’t so lazy, just a bit slow at fostering competition. Earlier today, I wrote about the Miami-Dade Aviation Department’s reluctance to competitively bid the baggage-wrapping concession operated by Secure Wrap of Miami, which has held on to the lucrative business for more than eight…
There have been 14 seasons of The Amazing Race? That is just, kind of, amazing, because I’ve never watched more than five seconds of it at a time. Also, consider that unlike so many other reality shows, The Race has never really contributed a catch phrase or pseudo-celebrity to the…
Here’s a great video I found by none other than John Cougar before he added that stupid Mellencamp and ruined everything. This video pioneers the South – Beach – music – video genre and exceeds the quality of almost everything that came after it. Here are the lyrics to the…
Owing to the laziness of Transportation Security Administration and Miami-Dade County Aviation Department bureacrats, a company with a lucrative venture at Miami International Airport won’t be getting any competition anytime soon. For the past eight years, Secure Wrap of Miami has held the exclusive rights to wrap luggage in a …
I had this epiphany last night, while I was sitting at the Churchill’s bar sipping my third Jack and Coke: Every single bar in Miami (and possibly the whole country) has at least one TV set tuned to ESPN at all times. I went outside and saw Penny talking to…
Dennis Moss is done putting together the new make-up of the county commission’s committees and I’m impressed with most of his selections. In case you don’t know, the commissioners use the committee system to hammer out decisions that ultimately impact our tax dollars, from formulating new ways to tax us…
The events that happen in childhood shape us, haunt us and turn us into the men and women that will lead the world. It’s sociological science fact. When I borrowed a taped copy of Appetite for Destruction from Enrique Fernandez at age nine, I had no idea that 2 Live…
In a second entry of the handwritten autobiography he recently wrote in jail, Overtown hustler Big Red talks about an unusual robbery for which he received six years in state prison. He leaves out names and some important details, but offers a peek at a different side of Miami street…
As long as we’re talkin about Charlie Pickett getting his due, here’s one of the reasons why, this video for the song “Overtown” written by Dave Froshneider and performed by “Charlie Pickett and The Eggs” is some real pioneer shit. Now, I’ll admit it, I hadn’t ever heard of…
Omnirific The new mall, just like the old mall: It’s been more than 100 years since poet George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” I thought of that after reading “Midtown Meltdown” (Francisco Alvarado, January 8). I’m referring to the Omni Mall, which…
To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here.This week, we’re talking about how these fucking jackass kids hide behind their fucking computer monitor screens. First of all, we all know you’re a jackass if you’re talking shit on the Internet, and you don’t have enough balls to…
Usually, if a guy calls himself a pimp, he’s using a frat boy Urban Dictionary term for how he’s, like, totally good with the ladies. But when Big Red drops those four letters, he’s talking about the ten-plus years he has spent soliciting females’ bodies for money on the street…
In light of the upcoming South Beach Wine & Food Festival, I propose a law requiring that no posted photo of any Food Network personality ever exceed the size of a postage stamp. Our fine dining establishments are much improved in terms of the quality of cuisine served, but they’ve…
At 11:45 this morning, Jackson Soul Food restaurant at 950 NW Third Ave. was standing-room-only. Overtown and Liberty City residents packed every booth, table, and counter inside the storied and recently remodeled soul food eatery as they watched President Barack Obama’s inaugural ceremony on three brand-new flat-screen TV sets on…
Georgina Lee has been driving a cab for 32 years. Times have never been tougher for a Beach cabbie, the 55-year-old Cuban American attests. So please excuse her if she’s a bit bent out of shape with the rough treatment she’s been getting from Miami Beach’s finest.”We’re not making any…
Last night on the Real World ,local boy JD had a dramatic episode: trying to locate a mysterious buzzing, fighting over stolen condoms, paying drag queens for their kissing services, and hugging it out with a teary Mormon mother. But things turned dark when JD revealed that his father had…
For the past 28 years, Harold Rengifo has sold natural foods, vitamins, fresh juices, and herbal teas on Miami Beach. Throughout this time Rengifo’s Natural Life Center has operated from various retail locations, most recently at 405 15th Street, a storefront located between Drexel and Washington avenues. Never had a…
I like an afterparty as much I like playing Ms. Pacman. But, just like Ms. Pacman, afterparties have no ending. I love Ms. Pacman, but level after level, ghost after ghost — they just keep on, until I die. Afterparties are cool but hour after hour, smoke after smoke –…
Iranian Agent Bingo She lies: I don’t for a second believe any of Shahrzad Mir Gholikhan’s lies as described in Deirdra Funcheon’s January 8 story, “The Agent from Iran.” She was a translator — she knew exactly what was being said. These terrorists get away with murder all the time…
With a long plastic tube, a Swiss Army knife, and a highlighter, a six-foot five-inch 19-year-old named Big Fern can produce an apparatus that not only yields euphoria but also has the potential to do something truly miraculous: make a bag of Funyuns taste delicious. “Building a bong is easy,”…
We haven’t been watching much Bravo since the last (and final?) season of Project Runway, but sort-of-vain local chef Jeff is still in the running on Top Chef. Now he’ll have another Miami native joining him on the cable channel. Meet Laury, a 23-year-old “freelance model” who was born and…
