We’ve been hit with a cold front, and if you’re like Riptide, your office is about as cozy as a gulag right now. But that’s OK, because this week’s batch of morons has a MWQ (Moronic Wattage Quotient) powerful enough to heat a three-story building. Throw on a Christmas sweater…
The incoming president of the county firefighters union, Dominick Barbera, is demonstrating a terrible lack of ethics in his personal feud with Miami-Dade Fire Rescue Chief Herminio Lorenzo. This past December 9, sent Lorenzo an audaciously snarky letter mocking the chief’s proposal to require all county firefighters to report traffic…
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. “We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.””Well, tell me!” the man said.The policeman said, “We have some…
“You see this knob? It’s precious to a lineman, especially when it gets real busy, cause you’re struggling to turn everything on. They come right off see? One thing cooks will do just to mess with each other is steal em’, and hide em’. I remember being in a kitchen…
With less than a month to go in Miami’s upcoming special election for the two city commission seats left open by the removal Michelle Spence-Jones and Angel Gonzalez, some of the candidates are relying on their own cash rather than hitting up people for campaign contributions.Miguel Gabela and Waldo Faura…
Study Up FMU is just fine: I am very familiar with Florida Memorial University, which was described in “Crime 101” (Gus Garcia-Roberts, December 10). I know wonderful things happen on campus, yet I never see news coverage. Is there a conspiracy to destroy the only black university in South Florida?…
Despite its seemingly official, compendious name, the Mexican Institute of Sound is not some sprawling, south-of-the-border government entity all about the science of airwaves and eardrums. In fact, the Institute’s only got one member — Mexico City cratedigger-slash-EMI exec Camilo Lara — and he mostly studies the art of shaking…
Alright, I promise this will be the last Miami Music Festival post for a while. But in case you wanted to see what you missed — because you missed it, didn’t you? — check out these YouTube clips of a few choice performances. First, I’ll post a few from Saturday…
Recently dismissed ethics complaints against three lobbyists provide a glimpse into how developers will pay off so-called community activists to win support for their projects.In finding that zoning lawyers Juan Mayol, Joseph Goldstein, and Richard Perez did in fact register to lobby on behalf of their client Q2 — a group…
We once heard a comedian say all Mexican food was pretty much the same ingredients put together under different names. For example, what are nachos? Umm, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, tortillas, meat, salsa. And what are tacos? Umm, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, tortillas, meat, salsa. And what are enchiladas, burritos,…
Moving Units is a weekly column on Crossfade tracking the best-selling albums at South Florida independent record stores. Top Five Albums for the Week of December 6 – December 12 Sweat Records, Miami 1. Getting On My Mind, Panic Bomber 2. No Mercy, Raffa & Rainer 3. No Seasons, Jacuzzi…
Seems like two life partners of Miami Heat players won’t be joining the ranks of Jose Canseco, Flava Flav, that guy who killed his girlfriend, New York, and various people with porny pasts in the pantheon of VH1 Reality shows after all. When VH1 and Shaunie O’Neal, Shaq’s wife announced plans…
Milton Hirsch will take Barbara Carey-Shuler’s money, but he’ll hold off on her endorsement. And the 2010 Miami-Dade judicial candidate doesn’t want Angel Gonzalez giving him the thumbs-up either.Hirsch removed their names from the official endorsement list on his campaign website, electmiltonhirsch.com, on November 27, days after two Miami city commissioners…
If you thought Phoenix dubstep duo UltraBlack’s minimal moniker was some kind of warning scream against the sleek and opulent evils of future technology, you were wrong. Truth is, Bryan Marek and Nick Suddarth make dark party tracks that, perversely, seem to revel in the debauched potentialities of a not-so-distant dystopia…
A Miami-Dade jury has convicted Liberty City pastor Gaston Smith on one count of grand theft for looting more than $10,000 in grant money intended to help the poor.Yesterday, Banana Republican caught the tail end of closing arguments by Smith’s defense lawyer Larry Handfield and prosecutor Richard Scruggs. Both lawyers…
It’s inevitable … Sometime this Saturday-night-slash-Sunday-morning your half-drunk ass will find itself wandering, like a partied-out zombie, through the near-abandoned labyrinth of weird, winding roads that buffer Transit and those temporary Miami Music Festival tents from the banker-bustle of Brickell. But wait, before you pass out and puke on that…
Update: Jervon A. Smith wants the world to know that he wasn’t a pastor when he did all this creepy shit.We usually use this column to recklessly mock regional idiots who accidentally shoot their toes off or are busted for running pathetic Ponzi schemes. But this week, we’re issuing a…
Mandolin Set To Play Turkish/Greek CuisineIt is a white-washed 1940’s house with blue trimmed windows. There are bougainvillea boasting bright colors, greek oil canisters turned into flower vases, traditional taverna chairs at wooden tables beneath a lantern-lit tree. Mandolin Aegean Bistro, serving rustic dishes authentic to the villages of Greece…
Click here to view photos from this event.Last night, Rakontur debuted an extended version of its upcoming ESPN documentary The U inside Overtown’s historic Lyric Theater. Among the local celebrities in attendance were former University of Miami football players Melvin Bratton, brothers Brian and Bennie Blades, Kelvin Harris, and Randall Hill,…
It’s just about 2010. Here are my choices. What do you think?1. After being snatched by federal authorities, Elian Gonzalez is sent home to his father in Cuba on June 28, 2000.2. Art Basel Miami Beach starts in 2002, an offshoot of the Swiss affair, it changes Miami’s cultural life…
Rothstein for Governor! Spence-Jones for lieutenant: In response to “Sheeee’s Back” (Gus Garcia-Roberts, December 3): Michelle Spence-Jones is demonstrating how little she cares about her constituents by running for office again. If she had one ounce of concern, she would not run until her corruption case is resolved. The burden…
When New Times featured Music is a Weapon over the summer, the Magic City hustlers were giddy with go after a 7-day Netherlands stand that saw the band treated like the rock stars they’re destined to become. You could see the sparkling stars in their eyes, refracting back from the…
