Wish You Were There: Artopia in Video, Again

Okay, okay, so this is the last time we’ll blog about Artopia for now — we just really want you to come to the next one, if you missed this time. (We’ll give you presents.) Miami New Times’ event last Thursday at the Freedom Tower was packed — who knew…

MP3 of the Day: “Stampede” by Rebel

Miami trio Rebel has one of those band names that’s maddening to Google. Luckily, New Times summed up everything you need to know about this Anglophilic trio in a recent feature. In short, it’s been a long road to the band’s current sound. The threesome, who trace their own roots…

Surfside Cop Should Have Lost His Badge a Long Time Ago

Woodward Brooks finally lost his badge for his bad cop behavior. This past February 3, the 46-year-old lawman was kicked off the Surfside Police force following his arrest on three felony counts of official misconduct, grand theft, and filing a fraudulent insurance claim.This is the second time the tiny beachfront…

Garage Tapes: Otto Von Schirach at Artopia

Last night’s New Times banger got off to a lukewarm start. But by 10:30 p.m., the crowd was finally ready to fucking party. With unknown quantities of free Barefoot pinot grigio and a couple hundred pisscups of Magic Hat #9 turning their brains to sponges, people shed their inhibitions and…

Morons of the Week: Super Bowl Aftermath Edition

Can it be only last week that we were invaded by hordes of screaming, mildly retarded tourists? It seems they have left some of their finest morons, many of them in jail cells throughout the county. Let’s take a look at the Morons of the Week: Super Bowl Aftermath Edition…

Top 10 Cereal Mascots We’d Like to Screw for Valentine’s Day

Sure red meat makes you horny. And Spanish fly is the greatest of all aphrodisiacs. But what red-blooded American wouldn’t want a cereal mascot to keep his or her hunger satisfied on Valentine’s Day, too? As to what each one could provide in the lovin’ department, well…1. Tony Tiger’s a…

Jersey Shore Threatens to Tear South Beach Apart at Its Seams

For years, the trashy elements of South Beach have coincided in a relatively peaceful, if not complementary, harmony with its more highbrow and sophisticated forces. Leave it to the power of Jersey Shore to upend all of that.While MTV has yet to confirm reports that the trash-tastic show will film…

Blast From the Past: Coke, Self-Titled

To view past editions of Blast From the Past, click here. CokeCoke (Sound Triangle Records)One of the perils of collecting Florida music is the often confusing and frustrating searches one can often endure. There are many reasons for this: small print runs, obscure bands, even more obscure “record labels” and very…

Longest-Staying Inmate Had Drugged-Up Lawyer

The letter arrived at the judge’s chambers in 2003, signed by a public defender-turned-convict named Anthony Genova. He had been busted for drunk driving, was a self-described Xanax addict, and did time for bankruptcy fraud. It was addressed to his old courthouse buddies — judges and attorneys — explaining he had found Jesus behind bars. His…

Letters from the issue of February 11, 2010

Trash Talk A real pain: I can’t believe these a**hole writers are telling out-of-towners how to get pain pills (“Super Blow,” Michael J. Mooney and Gus Garcia-Roberts, February 4). It’s hard enough to get them for my real pain, let alone telling people how to score just to get high…

Top 10 Moments in Black Music History at the Palms in Hallandale

The image above is of the sleepy-looking beachside town called Hallandale, Florida and gives no indication of the city’s Black musical history. But the Palms in Hallandale, just north of Miami, otherwise known as the Million Dollar Palms, was a major stop on the Chitlin Circuit, a nationwide string of…