Snooki Tries to Strangle a Girl in VIP Room

Last season on the Jersey Shore, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi shockingly got punched in the face by a drunk guy at a bar. Now that Snooki is in Miami for season two it seems that she’s the one who’s got her dukes up. RadarOnline reports that last night Snooki and cohort Jenni “JWoww” Farley…

Photo Gallery: Trina Shows Vibe Magazine Around Miami

Over at Vibe.com, we get an up-close look into the daily life of one of South Florida’s current musical successes, Trina. Amazin’, her fourth studio album just dropped yesterday, so the rapper has been working nonstop to keep her business in check. This extensive photo gallery, A Day in the…

Blast From the Past: L’Trimm – Grab It!

L’Trimm Grab It! (Atlantic/WEA) I guess I always felt that hip-hop was a Miami thing since I grew up in Latin America and came here for summer visits with my relatives. Now, that does not mean that my relatives influenced me in some way or educated me in the ways…

MP3 of the Day: Fireside Social – “Wristbands”

Empty bars with sticky floors is a pretty good way of summing Fireside Social up as far as playing with gusto and passion is concerned. And while they are currently caught between Miami and St. Augustine, it is refreshing to find out they’ve committed to some studio time. This track, “Wristbands,”…

On Mom’s Day, the Dolphins GM Should Go to the Ghetto

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the importance of Mother’s Day and why Miami Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland is a motherf***er.Mother’s…

Basketball Wives: Love Means Throwing Water in a Bitch’s Face

The concept of marriage predates recorded history, yet here it is, the year 2010 A.D., and we are still arguing over what it “means.” Luckily, important socio-documentary Basketball Wives shed some light on the debate last night. What we learned: The definition of marriage should be left to each couple…

Morons of the Week: Ron Book, Jeff Ireland, and Arizona

Some say it’s the heat that causes it. Others blame Jimmy Buffett. Whatever the reason, South Florida is Mecca for this hemisphere’s most devoted morons. Let’s see who took the pilgrimage this week: 5. Ron Book, who apparently thought it was wise to put a bunch of Julia Tuttle sex…

Blast From the Past: Anti-Justice’s Self-Titled EP

Anti-Justice Self-Titled EP (Self-released) Chances are you never heard about Anti-Justice and while I’d love to follow where alcohol leads and promote my coolness over you; I will not – not out of some “professionalism” or because I’ve been edified and tempered by age. No, I will not laud myself…

Rudy Moise’s Campaign Hits a New Low

Rudy Moise must be desperate for cash to finance his political campaign. The Haitian physician is running for the U.S. congressional seat being vacated by Kendrick Meek, who is running for the Democratic Party’s nomination in the U.S. Senate race.This afternoon, I received an email from Moise’s wife, Mirjam, lamenting…

Surfer Blood Members Exchange Kiss in NYLON TV Interview

“Good morning NYLON TV, we’re Surfer Blood.” This clip is mostly amusing because singer JP Pitts is wearing one of those bomber hats with the huge, fuzzy earflaps.But there’s also that slightly awkward moment when the guys say they “enjoy their own company” and then show us what they mean…

AriZona Iced Tea is From New York, Not Arizona

It was reported by The Daily News this week that in response to the controversial Arizona immigration law, an initiative was started on the Internet asking people to boycott the AriZona Beverage Co., makers of AriZona Iced Tea and juices. Thing is, the company has been based in Woodbury, 20…

Biscayne Landings in North Miami to Become an Indoor Ski Slope?

The buyers of the failed Biscayne Landings project in North Miami have a novel idea for what ​to build on the city-owned, 193-acre site: a ski and snow-sports mountain park that would include a 550-foot-tall slope.In addition to downhill skiing, Solar Mountain would include a 163-meter ski jump, ice-skating rinks,…

Pork In Poetry

Nobody bothered to tell me that April was National Poetry Month — no doubt a conspiracy started by someone who has read my poems.  Here goes:3 Cuts of PorkI.I don’t think I’ll ever seeA poem as lovely as pork bun with kimchiII.Lobster with peanut butter and jellyA big fat square…