When Lazaro Morera’s father passed away October 29, the unemployed Cuban-American thought he had the funeral covered. He was wrong. Despite having paid $2,540 to Funeraria Latina Nacional at 151 NW 37th Ave. for his dad’s prearranged burial six years ago, the funeral home’s owner, Rafaiy Alkhalifa, would not honor…
The awards are over. My hotel room is trashed. There’s debris everywhere — cigarette butts and cigar nubsand shards of glass from countless broken bottles. There’s a strange mustard mural painted — now dried — on the mirror, and I’m wearing a dinosaur tail with suspenders. And there’s something in the ashtray…
We’re not really sure what inspires reality TV cast members to think that a little airtime means they’re qualified to belt it out for the masses. But we don’t like it. They usually have no training, no stage presence and — what’s worse — no talent.Rumors began to spread this…
Miami’s Best Pizza, a 40-year mainstay on South Dixie Highway near University of Miami, is always packed. There’re children with noses smudged up against a glass partition watching cooks spin dough in the air, children playing on video game machines that line the walls, children huddled by their parents on…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke comes to Cam Newton’s defense.There is a campaign to destroy the reputation of Auburn Tigers quarterback Cam Newton, and…
Letters from the issue of November 11, 2010
Democrats got tea-bagged
Miami’s vultures go to court
When it was announced that Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian had successfully taken our fair city of Miami, and that Kourtney and Kim would set there sites on taking New York in the next step of Kardashian world domination, we wondered who would miss this silly little show? Sorority sisters was…
Ahh, our favorite hip-hop ho Kat Stacks has laid claim to some of the biggest hip-hop scandals since her predecessor, Karrine Steffans (AKA Superhead) aired her dirty laundry in a tell-all book entitled Confessions of a Video Vixen in 2005, published by none other than Harpers Collins. High class, baby!…
The Latin Grammy awards are upon us once again. It’s a night when the hottest stars in the Hispanic entertainment cosmos gather together in one spot. And this year, that spot is … Where else? Sin City. They couldn’t have picked a better locale. Last year’s show in La La…
Staying power on Miami’s nightclub scene is a pretty rare thing. Parties like Bandits, Collision, Static, Flamingo, Murk’d, and Sugar Free Fridays couldn’t even make it to one year. All of those aforementioned parties had something to offer, and there was nothing wrong with any of them. They just came…
Did you know that last Wednesday was National Sandwich Day? I did, but didn’t tell anyone.This week is National Pasta Week. No, wait — I think that might have been last week. This month is definitely National Sticky Peanut Butter Month. And possibly Boysenberry Jam Month too.So the question is:…
The Village of Palmetto Bay’s new mayor might have been at the center of one of the biggest scandals to rock Miami’s most recognizable homeless charity, Camillus House. Peter England, who faces Shelley Stanczyk in a November 16 runoff, was Camillus’s government relations director in 2004 when a former employee…
Short Order occasionally takes time out to share our considerable marketing expertise with those who may or may not need our help. It’s admittedly a specialized marketing expertise, one that focuses solely on providing memorable mottos that brand restaurants with a strongly identifiable concept. We only ask that the restaurateurs…
There were rumors that father-son chef duo Norman and Justin Van Aken had been fired from Norman’s 180 a couple weeks ago. So we decided to stalk em. Or at least their Twitter.Yes, this is indeed sick and disturbing behavior, but someone had to put the rumors to bed. Norman…
“Domino’s Pizza was hurting early last year. Domestic sales had fallen, and a survey of big pizza chain customers left the company tied for the worst tasting pies. Then help arrived from an organization called Dairy Management. It teamed up with Domino’s to develop a new line of pizzas with…
Letters from the issue of November 4, 2010
NFL helmet hits are OK
We’ve always dreamed of county commission meeting days when we wouldn’t have to hear another “can I get a skinny minute” from Dorrin Rolle. We’ve been waiting for the Ghetto Governor to get kicked out of County Hall since we profiled him in 2006. As we do the electric slide…
Still shaken by the brutality and disappointment of election day, America now looks forward to only one thing … Lil Wayne’s release from Riker’s Island! The time has come, Young Moneyians. Within hours, Weezy (AKA Dwayne Michael Carter) will be a free man, escaping the chains of the state prison…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke reflects on last night’s election results. I have to congratulate the Tea Party. They came out in numbers…
