We don’t know who Gary Shirley is. We don’t know why a show sensationalizing the exploits of poor, uneducated teenagers clearly unfit to be parents is so popular. We don’t know why anyone connected to this show has $5,000 and then would blow it all at a strip club. We…
Jovens Esperance. The name sounds so innocent, like something Salma Hayek might whisper into your ear on a lazy Sunday morning. Or like the name of a Catalan charity devoted to taking thugs from the streets of Barcelona and turning them into five-star restaurateurs.Chef! This soufle is delicious. My compliments!Don’t…
Jack McKeon, the 80-year-old interim manager of the Florida Marlins, is Riptide’s interim semiregular columnist. This week’s topic: the San Francisco Giants. I was on the bullpen phone with Corny the other day when he reminded me that San Francisco is coming to town. I just about barfed my chaw…
Earlier in the week, Crossfade reported on the new Hova-slash-Yeezy collabo “Otis” and how the track totally misses the point of the original Otis Redding song it samples. Put simply, this pair of premiere rap man-baby millionaires has, quite predictably, substituted soul for swag. Well, MTV debuted the video last…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series…
There is a new, mysterious player in Miami electioneering. According to Miami city Commissioner Marc Sarnoff’s most recent quarterly finance report, his re-election campaign paid $23,409 between May 11 and June 29 for “promotional materials” to a company called Rodman. The firm lists its address at 201 S. Biscayne Blvd.,…
Luke’s Gospel: Miami Dolphins will suck this season
Reader mail: Real estate fraud is “bigger than ever”
US News & World Report recently noted that gastric bypass surgery not only cuts your appetite but also might reduce your desire for high-fat foods. Over the years, I’ve had friends who have suffered through gastric bypass or lap band procedures. They’ve all shed weight as if they had made…
Thirty years ago today, the Miami-Dade morgue had more dead bodies than it could handle. So to keep the surplus cadavers on ice, the medical examiner’s office leased a refrigerated truck. The $800-a-month rental was a symbol of Miami’s ignominious distinction as the nation’s murder capital, largely as a result…
Food is fun to shop for, sometimes even more so than clothes or electronics. Be honest. How many hours do you spend at your supermarket or even at a Williams-Sonoma? But what do you do when you can’t find certain things at your local spot? We’re here to help with…
Manhattans are classic, and mojitos are perfect for beating the summer heat. Remember apple martinis? Those were tasty, but definitely a trend. What drinking trends can you expect in the coming year? Here’s a list of what everyone will be imbibing:…
In today’s Miami Herald, you’ll find an article by Miami City Hall beat reporter Charles Rabin that blathers on about Mayor Tomás Regalado’s allegedly unflappable resiliency. Rabin, late to the game by a week, notes Regalado is facing a recall threat from the police and fire unions as the city faces…
These days it’s not enough to have just one job. In this economy, you have to be a hustler to get by. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll even be successful.Celebrities are no different; they like to have their hands in the cookie jar too. It’s easy to criticize stars –…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the sad state of Miami’s NFL franchise.While AFC division rivals the New England Patriots and the…
No doubt there was plenty of $leaziness going on at the Ke$ha show last night. We’re talking drunk dudes, wasted moms pulling down their tube tops, people with crunchy hair booty dancing on their seated friends. It was a little bit of a shit show. The way that people were…
In this third installment of his web cooking series, Vegan Black Metal Chef once again unleashes the powers of seitan to make tempura asparagus sushi.As he growls and sings through the recipe, Vegan Black Metal Chef shows us how to make wasabi at home (because the green stuff in a…
Former American Idol judge Simon Cowell scoured America this summer looking for contestants for his new singing show, The X Factor. We’re not sure if he found any future Kelly Clarksons when he visited Miami, but he did discover a now angry and litigious father-and-son duo. Stephen Marks, 54, and his…
Miami rapper Rick Ross has announced a new development deal with chicken franchise Wingstop. The partnership makes a lot of sense for The Boss, who, according to his single “M.C. Hammer” is quite regularly “fiending” the chain’s delicious wings. Rozay told AllHipHop.com that, “After tasting Wingstop’s signature lemon-pepper flavored wings…
A dragon from the Far East has devoured the Miami Herald business section’s soul. Last week, the newspaper’s Business Monday pullout featured a five-page cover story and two side bars about the Genting Group, the Malaysian gambling conglomerate that wants to build a casino resort in downtown Miami.The investors already…
With the news that former Pacific Time chef/owner Jonathan Eismann is now a realtor, it seemed like an opportune time to reflect upon potential second careers for other local chefs. After all, we know that the restaurant biz is a bitch, and dining establishments don’t last forever, and…well, let’s just…
In another instance of local music scenesters using Facebook to rail against the scene (see also: Fernando Perdomo Wants You To Know That Experimental Music is Crap), Crossfade was surprised to see a surly post from This Heart Electric frontman Ricardo Guerrero acerbically declaring that “All Miami venues fucking suck…
