Kimbo Slice, like many stars before him, is retreating to Japan to milk out a little bit more money before his career quietly fades out. While there we imagine him shooting a commercial for some whiskey, appearing on a whackey game show, and then meeting the pretty but neglected wife…
Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing…
Cold, hard reality set in last week for Miami’s two most notable football squads. The Fins lost their rematch to the Pats, and the Canes saw their ACC title hopes evaporate. Hopefully they’ll be able to put their disappointment behind them and not squander seasons that are, by last year’s standards, pretty…
Miami’s favorite pill-popping, adopted-father Frenching, nonsensical metaphor making (or is “I can play basketball with the moon” a simile?) rambling blogger Lil Wayne has used his ESPN.com soapbox to unleash a rant about troubled Cowboys defensive back Pacman Jones’ indefinite suspension from the NFL: I don’t think the Pacman Jones…
Since 1980, the Pro Bowl has been played in Honolulu, Hawaii, the week after the Super Bowl, but buzz during the past couple of years has indicated NFL bigwigs aren’t happy with the status quo. They nixed a plan to move this year’s Pro Bowl to a week before the Super Bowl at…
The Patriots punted once in the entire game during yesterday’s 48-28 win over the Dolphins. Once. New England’s offense totaled 530 yards — the most the Dolphins defense has allowed since 1995. You could still catch brand new episodes of Seinfeld the last time the Dolphins allowed that many yards…
Rich Sanchez and his CNN show certainly have caught the twitter bug, and now another former Miami fixture is twittering his thumbnails off, too. Our New Times brethren in Phoenix report that the 7’1 superstar has his own twitter account, and apparently it’s legit. Shaq is really into twitter, but…
Ugh, it is football post time again. After the Canes’ face plant last night, we’re a bit down on the sport. Seriously they had it all before them – a return to national prominence and the ACC title and what do they do? Give up more rushing yards than they…
Is there any extra duct tape lying around the Dolphins locker room? How about a ball gag? Because there are times when Joey Porter just needs to shut up. Porter was sharing his deep thoughts on the Michael Vick case and decided Vick should be given another shot in the…
Old photo, same result Ah, the resurrected Miami Hurricanes football program. Ranked in the top 25 again! Headed to the ACC title game! Unable to stop some one-legged homeless guy from Atlanta from busting off a 15-yard run! There are many ways to prove that the AP voters have overranked…
Miami Hurricanes @ Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, 7:30 tonight on ESPN The Kiddy Canes right now are fly like paper and high like planes, and the rest of the ACC Coastal division is at their total mercy. If they win the next two games, they’re guaranteed a spot in the…
Thierry Henry It has never made much sense that Miami doesn’t have a team in Major League Soccer, what with its large Central and South American population and all, so it’s little surprise that the Magic City is a leading candidate for an expansion franchise beginning in 2010. We’ll know…
Is it even news anymore that Joey Porter runs his mouth? It’s like, “I saw some birds fly, the grass is green, oxygen passes through our lungs, Joey Porter is trash-talking his opponents.” It’s only news if those things stop happening, or in Porter’s case, the object of his derision…
Holy crap. That was close. For a while there, it seemed as if we were witnessing the return of the Shitphins. With just 4:30 remaining in a game that the Dolphins had been leading in all day, Oakland’s John Lee Higgins ran a Miami punt back 93-yards to pay dirt,…
Every weekend the local professional and college level football player-type people assemble on the field to play their games. Every weekend we write things about it, because it is an easy Friday afternoon post. We also post something dumb holding a football. This week is no exception. Anyway, we are…
UM Coach Randy Shannon is clearly sending secret signals to the GOP about the path to redemption after a few years of stining defeat. Listen Republicans, Randy Shannon took the helms of Larry Coker’s sinking ship and has turned it around. Whoever takes over your party in is going to…
Don’t look now but the Miami Hurricanes are in first place in the ACC Coastal Division. Couldn’t decide between watching the Canes getting their mojo back or 30 Rock last night? That’s what the “previous channel” button on the remote is for (or, for those of you still living in…
Virginia Tech Hookies @ Miami Hurricanes, 7:30 pm on ESPN The sports press has a crush on all the young, true freshman on University of Miami’s footballing sports crew, but they aren’t sure if they’re ready to commit. Sure, the Canes have won four in a row and have an…
Last week New Times ran a story on the 14-second fall of Kimbo Slice and the death of EliteXC, entitled “MMA’s Post-Kimbo Limbo” written by Bob Norman. The same piece ran in Norman’s home paper, The Broward Palm Beach New Times, with the title “Kimbo Slice’s a sissy: The fight…
via Auto Cosmos Florida’s cultural transition into fitting its new blue state status is already underway. Case in point: the first NASCAR race in the state since the election, the Ford 400 this Sunday at the Homestead-Miami Speedway, will feature hybrid cars. Seriously, the 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid will serve…
The New Jersey Nets have been struggling with their three-point shooting all season. So, naturally, they decided to rain threes down on the Heat from every angle imaginable inside the American Airlines Arena last night, connecting on a season-high thirteen of them. Five of those three-pointers came from Yi Jianlian,…
In one of the ugliest wins of the season, the Dolphins showed us all what they are: scrappy, crappy, exciting, infuriating, imposing, cringe worthy, and pretty awesome all at the same time. Yet despite all the ugliness, the Dolphins were able to pull off the 21-19 win with a strong…
