Sad Pats Fans Will Have to Suck It Up and Root for the Jets

Is there anything more annoying than Boston sports fans? No sir, there is not. Since 2004, their teams have won a Super Bowl, an NBA Championship, and two World Series, which I’m sure you know if you’ve talked to any Bostonian for more than five seconds. Now Bostonians are going to have…

Friday Night: Revolution Fight Club at Gusman Center

Revolution Fight ClubDecember 19, 2008Gusman Center for the Performing ArtsBetter Than: Who knows?Forgive me, but I don’t have any photos of Friday night’s Revolution Fight Club. No, I didn’t lose my camera. And no, it didn’t break. And I wasn’t shirking my assignment, either. I don’t have a snap because…

Weekend Football: Déjà vu?

Miami Dolphins @ Kansas City Chiefs, 1pm Sunday on CBSRiptide is getting a weird sense of paramnesia about the current situation of your Miami Dolphins football team. Probably because it is eerily similar to the plight of you Miami Hurricanes just weeks ago. Remember? The Canes were in first place…

Fins Heading for History Books

We’re not holding our breath, but if the Miami Dolphins win their next two games, not only will they get a spot in the playoffs, but also they’ll be headed for the history books. Even right now, the Fins are in sixth place for the greatest season-to-season turnaround in NFL…

It Is Truly the Future: BCS Championship to Be Shot in 3-D

We do not have jet packs yet, but we have iPhones, a black president, and now football broadcast in 3-D! Fox and Sony have announced that next month’s BCS Championship game between the Gators and the Sooners at Dolphin Stadium will be shot in 3-D.Obviously, even the most expensive flat-screen…

Two Dolphins Headed to Pro Bowl, but Not Pennington

So the Pro Bowl selections were announced and your Miami Dolphins snagged two spots on the AFC team. Beloved trash talker Joey Porter will be one of the starting outside linebackers, while Ronnie Brown will serve as a reserve running back. One of the biggest snubs? Chad Pennington, who has…

Porter, Fins Lay a Beatdown on Niners

The two most vicious hits in Sunday’s Dolphins-49ers defensive power struggle both came in the waning minutes of the ballgame. First, with the Niners sitting in the red zone, trying to punch in a touchdown and take their first lead of the day, a bunch of security guys absolutely destroyed some random dude in jean shorts who…

Weekend Football: Three-Ways and 49ers

San Francisco 49ers @ Miami Dolphins, 1 p.m. on Fox.Your Miami Dolphins are involved in a hot, sexy three-way with the New York Jets and the New England Patriots, but no one can decide who’s going to be on top … of the AFC East division. The menage-a-trois may very…

Football Fans Too Poor to Get to Miami

You know times are tough when crazed college football fans in places like cold-ass Blacksburg, Virginia; and Cincinnati, Ohio, can’t scrounge up enough change to get to sunny Miami for a January 1 bowl game. But alas, that is the cold, hard truth of these tough economic times.More depressing recession-related news…

Sports World Horrified by New Sneaker

After Chanel debuted its “Miami Vice” shoe, which came complete with a mini pistol in place of the heel, at this summer’s Cruise collection, Miami is starting to gain a reputation for debuting controversial footwear. While Kobe Bryant is no Karl Lagerfeld, he’s following in the Kaiser’s footsteps by debuting…

Crosstown Rivals: FIU @ UM

Oh, no! Your Miami Hurricanes basketball team has fallen out of the AP’s Top 25 poll! They’re currently 5-2, and both of those losses were to unbeaten teams, so there’s not that much shame and a good chance for a resurgence. But tonight they get the chance to let off…

Barcelona’s MLS Bid Might Not Pan Out

A fair number of locals were excited that a Major League Soccer team might be coming back to Miami, especially under the guidance of FC Barcelona, but here comes The New York Times soccer blog with their vicious theories and reporting to rain on our parade. While they still say…

UM Football Players: Not as Brainy as Gators or Noles

This season, the Miami Hurricanes came out way behind their in-state rivals, UF and FSU, by most on-the-field standards, losing to both teams. Now here’s a little salt for those wounds: Both the Noles and the Gators made Higher Ed Watch’s Top 25 for academic achievement, while the Canes went…

The Dolphins’ Ass-Kicking Prowess Has Gone International

Holy sugartits is this a magical time to be a Dolphins fan! They’re just displaying all kinds of dexterity in the ass-kicking department, as they did yesterday when they flew into Canada’s Rogers Centre and delivered a beatdown to the rival Buffalo Bills. The Fins defeated Buffalo 16-3 in front…

Weekend Football: Blame Canada?

The college football season came to end, so we’re left for the time being with only this Miami Dolphin team to keep us company. Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills, Sunday 4:05pm on CBSThe Buffalo Bills, the former team of noted armed robber OJ Simpson, have worked out a weird plan…

Kimbo Slice Headed to Japan

Kimbo Slice, like many stars before him, is retreating to Japan to milk out a little bit more money before his career quietly fades out. While there we imagine him shooting a commercial for some whiskey, appearing on a whackey game show, and then meeting the pretty but neglected wife…

Because Sometimes Winning Ugly Beats Not Winning At All

Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing…

Weekend Football: The Doldrums

Cold, hard reality set in last week for Miami’s two most notable football squads. The Fins lost their rematch to the Pats, and the Canes saw their ACC title hopes evaporate. Hopefully they’ll be able to put their disappointment behind them and not squander seasons that are, by last year’s standards, pretty…

Even Lil Wayne disapproves of Pacman Jones’ antics

Miami’s favorite pill-popping, adopted-father Frenching, nonsensical metaphor making (or is “I can play basketball with the moon” a simile?) rambling blogger Lil Wayne has used his ESPN.com soapbox to unleash a rant about troubled Cowboys defensive back Pacman Jones’ indefinite suspension from the NFL: I don’t think the Pacman Jones…

Pro Bowl in Miami Next Season?

Since 1980, the Pro Bowl has been played in Honolulu, Hawaii, the week after the Super Bowl, but buzz during the past couple of years has indicated NFL bigwigs aren’t happy with the status quo. They nixed a plan to move this year’s Pro Bowl to a week before the Super Bowl at…