Phelps Takes Gold at the Gansevoort, Sapp Snags Silver

Warren Sapp now has two things Chad Ocho Cinco so desperately wants: a Super Bowl ring and the experience of racing Michael Phelps. Back in August, Ocho Cinco challenged Phelps to a showdown in the warm pools of Miami, but the battle never happened. Sapp was luckier. Both were in town for various…

Big Tuna Big on New Jersey Veal

You know what always makes me really, really hungry? A close-up of Bill Parcells’ mouth making moaning noises indicating pleasure. Here is your Miami Dolphins Savior-in-Chief whoring for a New Jersey italian restaurant along side Mike Francesca (sans Mad Dog) from 1993 that just made its way to the internet…

Gators Assistant Says Racism Has Stalled His Career

Let’s count the ways that Charles Barkley, as usual, is the wisest guy in the room. No, Riptide isn’t applauding his DUI arrest a couple of days ago in Arizona. That was no good. We’re talking about his outraged and much-argued assertion last month that his alma matter, Auburn, hired…

Well, There’s Always Next Season

With news today that Bill Parcells will stay with the Dolphins, it seems a good bet that the heart of the resurgent Miami Dolphins will stay put for next season. Yeah, yesterday’s game was a heartbreaking thing to behold, but after the greatest season-to-season turnaround in NFL history, Dolfans have…

More Dumb Dolphins Rumors: Could They Sign Mangini as an Assistant?

Talk about burying an explosive detail. CBS Sports correspondent Mike Freeman has a column up today theorizing that recently fired Jets Coach Eric Mangini won’t find himself with another NFL head coaching job anytime soon thanks to wide spread speculation that he ratted New England Coach Bill Belichick out last…

Diddy Will Deny The Bearcat’s Fancy Hotel Stay

It is football day here on Riptide apparently, so we’ll keep this post short. The Cincinnati Bearcats will be playing in the Orange Bowl on New Years Day against Virginia Tech (a game the Canes, theoretically, could be playing in if they didn’t have such a deep commitment to ruining everything). So…

Dolphins Super Bowl Odds: Not So Good, Actually

First off, sometimes I wish our Miami NFL teams had a different animal as its mascot. Dolphins only have one expression, and that is “I am so friggin’ happy at the moment!!!!” This is why there will never be LOLCat-like ROFLFins, and this is why I can never illustrate a…

Schedule Announced for Miami’s Lingerie Football Team

  “Hey, baby. Are you ready for my football?” I trust some of you remember the news that Miami will host a team in the innagural season of the Lingerie Football League very, very well. Perhaps you’ve dreamt of it, fantasized even. Well, now those liquid dreams are shaping into a…

Pro Bowl Will Be In Miami in 2010

Some football rumors we pick up on Riptide never come true. Usain Bolt never did make his start with the Dolphins. Others are actually legitimate it seems, as the 2010 Pro Bowl will indeed be played at Dolphin Stadium a week before the Super Bowl according to AP sources. The NFL has thought…

It Has Come To This: Dolphins vs Jets

Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets, Sunday Dec 28th 4:15pm on CBSSomewhere on this very blog earlier in the season I quipped something about how betting against the Dolphins was a more sound investment than anything the stock market has to offer. Well, guess what? I took my advice and now I…

The Emerald Bowl Ain’t That Exciting

Your weekly football fix won’t come until this weekend, but since Riptide will be quite quiet the rest of the week we’ll be doing our trademarked very informative Football previews today!The Emerald Bowl: Miami Hurricanes vs California Golden Bears, Saturday Dec 27th 8pm on ESPNThe last time anyone really got excited about…

Kath, Kim, Marley, Me and the Marlins

Your Florida Marlins are turning into quite the little Hollywood starlets. They have a supporting part, of sorts, in the upcoming Marley and Me with Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson and now they’re in talks to take part in an episode of NBC’s weird but enjoyable Kath & Kim. This ads…

Sad Pats Fans Will Have to Suck It Up and Root for the Jets

Is there anything more annoying than Boston sports fans? No sir, there is not. Since 2004, their teams have won a Super Bowl, an NBA Championship, and two World Series, which I’m sure you know if you’ve talked to any Bostonian for more than five seconds. Now Bostonians are going to have…

Friday Night: Revolution Fight Club at Gusman Center

Revolution Fight ClubDecember 19, 2008Gusman Center for the Performing ArtsBetter Than: Who knows?Forgive me, but I don’t have any photos of Friday night’s Revolution Fight Club. No, I didn’t lose my camera. And no, it didn’t break. And I wasn’t shirking my assignment, either. I don’t have a snap because…

Weekend Football: Déjà vu?

Miami Dolphins @ Kansas City Chiefs, 1pm Sunday on CBSRiptide is getting a weird sense of paramnesia about the current situation of your Miami Dolphins football team. Probably because it is eerily similar to the plight of you Miami Hurricanes just weeks ago. Remember? The Canes were in first place…

Fins Heading for History Books

We’re not holding our breath, but if the Miami Dolphins win their next two games, not only will they get a spot in the playoffs, but also they’ll be headed for the history books. Even right now, the Fins are in sixth place for the greatest season-to-season turnaround in NFL…

It Is Truly the Future: BCS Championship to Be Shot in 3-D

We do not have jet packs yet, but we have iPhones, a black president, and now football broadcast in 3-D! Fox and Sony have announced that next month’s BCS Championship game between the Gators and the Sooners at Dolphin Stadium will be shot in 3-D.Obviously, even the most expensive flat-screen…

Two Dolphins Headed to Pro Bowl, but Not Pennington

So the Pro Bowl selections were announced and your Miami Dolphins snagged two spots on the AFC team. Beloved trash talker Joey Porter will be one of the starting outside linebackers, while Ronnie Brown will serve as a reserve running back. One of the biggest snubs? Chad Pennington, who has…

Porter, Fins Lay a Beatdown on Niners

The two most vicious hits in Sunday’s Dolphins-49ers defensive power struggle both came in the waning minutes of the ballgame. First, with the Niners sitting in the red zone, trying to punch in a touchdown and take their first lead of the day, a bunch of security guys absolutely destroyed some random dude in jean shorts who…