Sports

79% of male cheerleaders resemble cast members of “Saved by the Bell”

The first big upset of the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament, #13 Cleveland State defeating #4 Wake Forest, really demands an intelligent analysis, especially since I watched it live from three feet away. But hey, this is the alternative press, and I have a great sense of humor, so instead, I’m…

‘Madness’ is a pretty outdated term — offensive really — so at Riptide we prefer to classify what’s going down at American Airlines Arena this afternoon a little more precisely. Our psychologists are rolling out a diagnosis of paranoid basketball schizophrenia with a touch of hoops paranoia and a major…

Floridians haven’t followed the Marlins this closely since the Gary Sheffield Era, and today, another chapter was written in the saga of the proposed Little Havana stadium. Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones pretty much played this perfectly, even using a fetus to her advantage. She was on maternity leave when the remaining…

By now you’ve seen the brackets so many times you know North Dakota State’s mascot by heart and you’ll break down in tears if another person mentions President Obama’s picks. But are you really ready for Miami’s first-round matchups tomorrow at the AA Arena? More important, do you know whom to mercilessly…

It’s still kind of unclear to me how many soccer fans in Miami want a local team, but for those that do it’s been a bad few weeks. First Miami’s MLS bid was withdrawn, and then came rumors that our ULS-1 team may leave town. Well, finally there’s some good…

I counted three Venezuelan girls in bikini’s that made me want to defect on the next plane to Caracas.

Or so went the chants in the first round of the World Baseball Classic, when Venezuela played in Toronto. With Dolphins Stadium’s proximity to Westin-zuela, the atmosphere at tonight’s Puerto Rico-Venezuela match-up should be even more rife with entertaining political sing-song. Game starts at 8pm, and the outfield seats are…

In just five minute self-anointed football deity Bryce Brown will emerge from his weekend long fast and finally, hopefully announce which school he’s going to play ball at. Schools in the running for Brown’s highly coveted services include Kansas State, Louisiana State, Oregon, Tennessee, and your University of Miami. Though…

Sports shock jock Sid Rosenberg is out at 790 The Tickets, apparently it was a mutual decision. Rosenberg started at the sports station back in 2005, after a noted career as Don Imus’s sports sidekick and occasional crack-cocaine enthusiast. Though, rumors on the internets suggest he could be the new…

They didn’t win 20 games. They finished .500 in a mediocre conference. Their best player is a goofy looking white guy. They lost five of their last six games of the season. Yet somehow the geniuses running the NCAA selection committee added up these facts and decided that the Arizona Wildcats…

I’m beginning to think that which ever school actually wins the Bryce Brown recruiting sweepstakes actually loses. Last year Brown verbally committed to the ‘Canes. Then he became the #1 ranked recruit in the nation according to Rivals.Com, and came under the influences of an adviser named Brian Butler. Since…

Virginia Tech savaged your Miami Hurricanes Basketballing squad 65-47 in the first round of the ACC tournament. Which means their NCAA tourny hopes are dead. The ‘Canes started the season regularly ranked in the top 25, but slipped off the rankings with in the first month and never really recovered…

There’s something definitely extortive about the latest press release from Miami FC, the under-attended and gravely endangered second-tier pro soccer team that allegedly plays at Tropical Park Stadium. The club is under the gun from the Brazilian company that owns it- which, like the sad sap who owns the Panthers, is…

Here’s something you don’t know: In the Netherlands, professional baseball is called Honkbal Hoofdklasse. Something else you don’t know? A single player on the Netherland’s World Baseball Classic team, which shocked the honkbal world by somehow taking down a powerhouse, all-star Domincan Republic club in the 11th inning last night…

There are a lot of Bulls fans out there who salivate at the idea of Dwyane Wade in their red, white, and black jersey. To them, signing Wade is a right, considering the guy was born in Chicago and idolized Michael Jordan as a kid (then again, who didn’t?). Even…

Like its sister past-times of golf, polo, and hedge fund fraud, tennis has always been rank with the stink of exclusivity. But while it is usually played by guys named Nigel who tie their sweaters around their chests, once you take it out of the country club, tennis can be…

When one thinks NASCAR, one doesn’t necessarily think “class,” but you’d expect a little bit of tact from one of the sports bigwigs. Bruton Smith is an octogenarian billionaire who made his money in promoting race, and he’s sick of seeing the final race of the NASCAR season run in…

In hindsight, it’s tough to argue that Larry Coker didn’t get a little bit screwed. He got canned as University of Miami head coach in 2006 after piling up a 60-15 record and bringing a national championship to Coral Gables — a record pretty much any other program in the…

There are a couple of unusual aspects to the breaking news that embattled native Alex Rodriguez is gonna miss at least six weeks of the baseball season to have hip surgery.The first is that the story was first reported by ESPN Deportes, which has even the New York Times chasing…

Who needs a Gawker Stalker like celebrity sighting maps, when stars with Twitters are openly encouraging stalking. Unfortunately your 30 minutes were up 30 minutes ago. [via Shaq’s Twitter.]…

So far, it has to have been a strange week for Shaq. Perhaps not as weird as the first week shooting Shazam, but strange nonetheless. Scheduling has forced the man to do an impromptu tour of his former teams. On Saturday, Shaq and the Suns beat Kobe and the Lakers…